Mysterious cries were heard throughout the mist
Disembodied voices arose within my mind
A shudder went through me–I thought I felt a kiss
Climbing the bluffs, sensing something amiss
A chilling, cold shiver crept up my trembling spine
Mysterious cries were heard throughout the mist
Daylight was waning, clouds were cirrus wisps
Twilight nearer, horizon no longer defined
A shudder went through me–I thought I felt a kiss
Prevailing shadows mock my measured steps
Hindering hills obstacles of my time
Mysterious cries were heard throughout the mist
Losing my footing, I slip and ankles twist
Strong arms felt around me prevent my incline
A shudder went through me–I thought I felt a kiss
Glimpsing ethereal vapor disappearing in my midst
My smile was offered to this unearthly divine
Mysterious cries were heard throughout the mist
A shudder went through me–I thought I felt a kiss
Happy Anniversary Week to dVerse Poets: Open Link Night http://dversepoets.com/2012/07/17/openlinknight-anniversary-week/ Join the festivities as we celebrate the first year anniversary at dVerse Poets. Thanks and praise to all the wonderful administrators who offer a wonderful place to share and learn our craft.
Victoria C. Slotto
/ July 17, 2012Okay, Ms. Poe. You got me at the first line. The villanelle is perfect for eerieness.
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Bodhirose
/ July 18, 2012I was going for eeriness…thanks, Victoria. I rather like being compared to Mr. Poe!
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brian miller
/ July 17, 2012wow…eerie is right though enchanting as well….the kiss did it for me, esp built in around dismbodied voices and people in the mist…
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Bodhirose
/ July 18, 2012Thanks, Brian. I guess our benefactors don’t always have to have bodies!
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ayala
/ July 17, 2012wow..eerie but a lovely poem!
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Bodhirose
/ July 18, 2012So glad you liked this, Ayala. 🙂
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Anna Montgomery
/ July 17, 2012I really enjoyed the twist in your well executed villanelle.
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Bodhirose
/ July 18, 2012Thanks so much, Anna.
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cloudfactor5
/ July 18, 2012Very nice, a shivery villanelle !!
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Bodhirose
/ July 18, 2012Yes..in more ways than one…thank you.
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tigerbrite
/ July 18, 2012Wonderful and otherworldly 🙂
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Bodhirose
/ July 18, 2012I’m fascinated with “otherwordly”. 🙂
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Susan
/ July 18, 2012Everything seems to belong to the first-person being here–except ” Mysterious cries were heard throughout the mist” which is a glimpse of what “it” sounds like to those not engaged in the experience. That is sooo neat!
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Bodhirose
/ July 18, 2012You’re right…and I’m not so sure that I did that consciously..probably not. I wrote this some time ago. Thanks for your visit, Susan, and your great comment.
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skyraftwanderer
/ July 18, 2012Really liking the repeating, rhyming lines. Tis a great use of form.
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Bodhirose
/ July 19, 2012Thanks so much..I appreciate your comment.
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Androgoth
/ July 20, 2012Yes you have to watch out for those naughty Vampires Gayle 😉
A truly wonderful script and thank you for offering it my great friend 🙂
Have a deliciously sweet Friday and of course
a very wicked and naughty weekend also 🙂 😉 😛
Androgoth XXx
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Bodhirose
/ July 20, 2012They’re everywhere aren’t they?! Thanks for coming by, Androgoth..I love your comments. Enjoy the upcoming weekend…naughty or nice… 😉
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Androgoth
/ July 20, 2012Yes they are all over my Space too,
Vampires are always very wicked and
immensely naughty so do watch out
for them, or your neck will be given the
bite of plenty as they say in Transylvania 🙂
Hey have a funtastic evening and
a truly enjoyable weekend Gayle 🙂 😉
Androgoth XXx
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Bodhirose
/ July 21, 2012“Bite of plenty”..I’d never heard that before…course I’m not up on current Transylvania lingo. 🙂 Makes me shudder just to think about it…
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Daydreamertoo
/ July 20, 2012Why don’t you link this to the Real Toads challenge today ? It would fit it just fine 🙂
Fabulous, creepy piece 🙂
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Bodhirose
/ July 20, 2012Thanks for the suggestion but I decided to go with something darker for Real Toads. I remembered something even more sinister and devilish that I thought would be a good share. Tell me what you think. I’m glad you liked this one though…thanks!
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zongrik
/ July 22, 2012i like how the vapors became ethereal at the end
Lillian gish
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Bodhirose
/ July 22, 2012Thanks, Zongrik!
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dragonkatet
/ July 22, 2012You know, it’s really neat that there was such a feel of darkness throughout this whole piece until the end, when it seems that the vapor was benevolent instead of malicious. I like how you created one impression and then surprised us by showing us that things are not always what they seem! 🙂 Really like this one!
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Bodhirose
/ July 23, 2012Thank you, Corina…I like how this one turned out too…sometimes I surprise myself with how the writing ends up! 🙂
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bardessdmdenton
/ August 1, 2012Took me hypnotically along, with trepidation and curiosity!
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Bodhirose
/ August 3, 2012Me too! 😉 Thank you, Diane.
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