Mysterious Cries

Mysterious cries were heard throughout the mist
Disembodied voices arose within my mind
A shudder went through me–I thought I felt a kiss

Climbing the bluffs, sensing something amiss

A chilling, cold shiver crept up my trembling spine
Mysterious cries were heard throughout the mist

Daylight was waning, clouds were cirrus wisps

Twilight nearer, horizon no longer defined
A shudder went through me–I thought I felt a kiss

Prevailing shadows mock my measured steps

Hindering hills obstacles of my time
Mysterious cries were heard throughout the mist

Losing my footing, I slip and ankles twist

Strong arms felt around me prevent my incline
A shudder went through me–I thought I felt a kiss
Glimpsing  ethereal vapor disappearing in my midst
My smile was offered to this unearthly divine
Mysterious cries were heard throughout the mist
A shudder went through me–I thought I felt a kiss

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  1. Okay, Ms. Poe. You got me at the first line. The villanelle is perfect for eerieness.


  2. wow…eerie is right though enchanting as well….the kiss did it for me, esp built in around dismbodied voices and people in the mist…


  3. wow..eerie but a lovely poem!


  4. I really enjoyed the twist in your well executed villanelle.


  5. Very nice, a shivery villanelle !!


  6. Wonderful and otherworldly 🙂


  7. Everything seems to belong to the first-person being here–except ” Mysterious cries were heard throughout the mist” which is a glimpse of what “it” sounds like to those not engaged in the experience. That is sooo neat!


    • You’re right…and I’m not so sure that I did that consciously..probably not. I wrote this some time ago. Thanks for your visit, Susan, and your great comment.


  8. Really liking the repeating, rhyming lines. Tis a great use of form.


  9. Androgoth

     /  July 20, 2012

    Yes you have to watch out for those naughty Vampires Gayle 😉
    A truly wonderful script and thank you for offering it my great friend 🙂

    Have a deliciously sweet Friday and of course
    a very wicked and naughty weekend also 🙂 😉 😛

    Androgoth XXx


    • They’re everywhere aren’t they?! Thanks for coming by, Androgoth..I love your comments. Enjoy the upcoming weekend…naughty or nice… 😉


      • Androgoth

         /  July 20, 2012

        Yes they are all over my Space too,
        Vampires are always very wicked and
        immensely naughty so do watch out
        for them, or your neck will be given the
        bite of plenty as they say in Transylvania 🙂

        Hey have a funtastic evening and
        a truly enjoyable weekend Gayle 🙂 😉

        Androgoth XXx


        • “Bite of plenty”..I’d never heard that before…course I’m not up on current Transylvania lingo. 🙂 Makes me shudder just to think about it…


  10. Why don’t you link this to the Real Toads challenge today ? It would fit it just fine 🙂
    Fabulous, creepy piece 🙂


    • Thanks for the suggestion but I decided to go with something darker for Real Toads. I remembered something even more sinister and devilish that I thought would be a good share. Tell me what you think. I’m glad you liked this one though…thanks!


  11. i like how the vapors became ethereal at the end

    Lillian gish


  12. You know, it’s really neat that there was such a feel of darkness throughout this whole piece until the end, when it seems that the vapor was benevolent instead of malicious. I like how you created one impression and then surprised us by showing us that things are not always what they seem! 🙂 Really like this one!


    • Thank you, Corina…I like how this one turned out too…sometimes I surprise myself with how the writing ends up! 🙂


  13. Took me hypnotically along, with trepidation and curiosity!



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