Meeting the Bar; Tanka

wind of dawning spring
caresses our naked forms
intertwined we sleep
the waterfall’s basin fills
overflowing like our love

Toni instructs us on the beauty of the Japanese tanka form over at dVerse Poets Pub.  Come give it a try!

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53 Comments

  1. Beautiful! ❤

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  2. Whistles! ❤ This is so very intense and passionate 😀 Love the image of love overflowing like a waterfall ❤ Beautifully penned.

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. There is nothing better than to be lulled to the sound of running water…

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  4. Wow! Beautifully sensual! Love that overflowing basin simile!

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  5. flooded with imagery and such a tender tanka

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  6. Beautiful words

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  7. Lovely tanka. Evocative. My favorite form. Thank you for your tanka.

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  8. Beautiful, poignant, and sensual.

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  9. Fresh and sensual Gayle Love ‘the waterfall’s basin filling’ image! 🙂

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  10. I specially love that waterfall’s basin overflowing Gayle~A sensual take, smiles!

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  11. I too like the waterfall’s basin overflowing, such a strong image. Everyone is writing such wonderful poetry tonight.

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  12. Sorry.. i cannot (:.not really..;)
    help but to remember
    with these words the
    nice customer service
    lady at
    Walmart
    who said
    when you
    come to dance..
    no matter Winter
    Fall oF Summer
    it’s alWays Spring..
    Life is worth all
    the boos
    iN the UniVerse.. SinG..
    for SprinG eYes that Dance..
    And ‘they’ make fun of Walmart
    Workers.. wInks.. i ‘could’ sPit nAils…:)

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  13. Delicately beautiful, Gayle. I love the Tanka form.
    (I’m trying to catch up again…. Hope all is well with you!)

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    • I love the form too, Betty. It’s always nice to have you show up! All is well and here’s a piece of news for you…grandbaby number two is on his/her way! We’ll find out the gender later this month. Mira’s going to be a big sister. 🙂 I hope all is well with you too!

      Liked by 1 person

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      • Congratulations on the grandchild who’s on the way! That’s exciting news. I hope they live nearby so you get to see them often. There’s nothing like being grandparents. 🙂

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        • Thanks, Betty. I moved here when Mira was born at the parents’ request to help take care of her while they work so I will be here and ready when number two shows up! 🙂

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  14. The waterfall will always overflow like overwhelming true love! Truly said Gayle!

    Hank

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  15. Lovely words and word imagery. So soft, gentle and sensual. Kudos, Gayle! ❤

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  16. Soft and sensual Gayle – the love overflowing like a waterfall – wow. woohoo!

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  17. Hi Gayle! I just wanted as many poets as possible to know that this site: JP at Olive Garden (known by other names….) took two poems of mine (published in my 4th book) and a chapter from “Song of the Nightingale” yesterday and posted them without permission on their site. I wouldn’t have minded this so much but they took “Storm Drain Baby”, a published poem and ‘revised’ it. It made it weak, and this is so wrong for a poetry site to do. I have left comments and emailed them, and they refuse answer or take down my pieces.

    No one has the right to rewrite any poets work. And to brag about it. I have stayed away from Jingle./ gooseberry/jp at Olive Garden because I was warned by people at One Stop many years ago about their conduct. They are just rank opportunists sucking on the hard work of real poets.

    Hope this doesn’t offend you, Gayle. But Jingle has a reputation I am told for doing just this to poets,.

    Jane (Lady Nyo)

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    • No, Jane, this doesn’t offend me at all. In fact I confronted this site myself some time ago when I saw they were linking old poems of mine (because I used to be a member of that group, as were you, I believe, when I first got my blog) to make it look like they had a large following. They did stop doing it and I asked to be taken off their email list. So very sorry this has happened to you. If you think it might help, I could go over there and let them know what I think about this behavior too.
      Gayle ~

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  18. LOL! First I am sorry that you have had to tangle with this bunch. It’s humiliating….especially when they refuse to retract. I don’t want to bother people but something has to break with Jingle. I am hoping that people WILL confront them…not for what they did to me….(and oh God….the ‘revisions’ of this poem were awful…) but what they do in general to poets and the field of poetry.

    Apparently, this Jingle has caused trouble on the internet before. I have threatened the possibility of legal action but they obviously don’t care. And it will cost me money I don’t have.

    If you feel so moved, perhaps we can alert other poets as to what they are doing. I posted something on my blog yesterday when I realized what they had done. but now? I just feel violated and very, very angry. Sure, if you want to add your voice to their despicable behavior, unworthy of a poetry site….I would appreciate it.

    I don’t understand what drives people who say they are poets (they are not) to do this. It is disgraceful and demeaning to those of us who work hard in forming our poetry.

    Thanks, Gayle.

    Jane

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    • I really had no idea that Jingle had stooped to such low conduct. I actually went to her site and “un-followed” myself. I saw that what I post on my blog is still being showcased on her site. Hopefully, by un-following her I no longer will be associated with her.

      I’m happy to go over there and leave a comment supporting you. It’s the least I can do. Again, I’m so sorry this has happened to you.

      You’re welcome, Jane.

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      • Thank you so much. I noticed they have me in their blog roll. Is unfollowing them how you get free? I have never had to unfollow a site, but there is always a first time. Thank you, Again!

        Jane

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        • I’ve never un-followed a blog either but I just did! So I’m guessing I’ll be free of them for good.

          You’re very welcome. Hopefully our comments to them will send a strong message and they’ll back off.

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          • I hope so. We spend time and energy on these fools,and they aren’t worth it. I did attempt to lodge a complaint with Blogger, but it didn’t go through. I will attempt the same tomorrow. Thank you so much, Gayle, for your own energy in this matter. And I am sorry that you have had to deal with these fools before.

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            • I’m glad I went over there again and realized that I could un-follow them. I was happy to add my energy to the mix, Jane. I hope you can get through to Blogger with your complaint and that they take some action. My situation with them was not to the degree that you’re experiencing. Seeing that your work was taken without permission (and then rewritten and posted) must have felt shocking.
              Gayle ~

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              • Oh, yeah. And the ‘revision’ (mauling) by this woman (certainly not a poet…) was really shocking. It was THAT BAD! It changed words with abandon and even through incm ‘hollywood’….LOL! She must have been from Bollywood. Well, Blogger is what is necessary, but I just hope that other real poets avoid that site. This is not nice, but I don’t think they deserve nice: since they claim this is a Italian site, may the current earthquake drop a building on them.

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                • I understand your outrage, Jane. I imagine you feel pretty violated…it’s an awful feeling. I didn’t really see any real activity going on over there…except for the fabricated kind. 😦

                  Liked by 1 person

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                  • Well, perhaps they will ‘fabricate’ themselves out of business. LOL! Yes, I am very angry (especially when I finally read the revision of SDB….UGH!!! Kill Me.) and I feel violated. It IS an awful feeling.

                    But it helps when people like you, Gayle see the aberration over there and understand. Thank you!

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                    • Yes, violated is a good description, I’m sure. I was happy to help…if it indeed did any good. You’re so very welcome! xo

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          • And thank you, Gayle, for lending your voice and support to this issue. Cowards like JP depend upon the laisse-faire mentally of others to continue to do what they do. And good for you! for unfollowing. Now, if I can just find that button…..but I never knew I was following them. Cheeky bastards.

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            • They are cheeky bastards! I didn’t know I was following them either. Underneath where you see the group of followers there is a button that I believe said “Unfollow” so I clicked it and was immediately taken off of there. I hope you’ll be free of them soon and I was happy to lend my support. This kind of stuff makes me mad!

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    • I went over there and left a comment, Jane. How do you feel about making a formal complaint to BlogSpot/Blogger whichever it is, and letting them know what’s going on? Maybe they would take this seriously and remove the site.

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  19. You’ve got some beautiful poems on here! 🙂

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