Afflicted Bane

Down to the basement, dark and damp
stamping my feet to scare what may
play and scatter down there. Things in corners,
(foreigners with matted fur and eyes of red)
bred to frighten and scare me silly.
Willies they give me and shudders and shrieks,
(speak in low and guttural growls)
foul and forlorn their lives down there.
Fair, not one bit; their teeth are green.
Between the washer and the dryer
higher up on the shelf above
sort of wedged back way too far
are the canned beans I need.
Flee fast as soon as I grab,
drab basement, my afflicted bane
gaining speed up the steps, I depart
heart thumping, safe at last.

Victoria instructs us on meter and setting a mood at dVerse Poets.  I chose a chain/link form to attempt matching meter to mood.  Oy!  I have no idea what I’m doing!

Advertisements
Next Post
Leave a comment

16 Comments

  1. Yikes, I am scared to go down to the basement Gayle. I’ll be hurrying up as fast as I can, back to safety.

    Like

    Reply
  2. Yes, you do know what you’re doing. The meter is fine and the form is fun. I’ve never tried it! I kinda think it’s more funny than frightful but that’s me. It made me think of once in a health care facility in which I worked a mouse up and croaked in an ice machine in the employees dining room. Oh, the horror. Fortunately it was in the machine part not where the ice was.

    Like

    Reply
  3. Such a wonderfully riveting use of meter in your poem, Gayle :D I love it!!

    Like

    Reply
  4. Reminds me of when I was a child. I hated going to the basement by myself. As long as I made sure the lights were all on, I was OK though!

    Like

    Reply
  5. The only place I ever had a basement was in Germany – and it was shared between all the apartments, we each had our own ‘cage’. I don’t know many houses with cellars or basements, other than English pubs. But I felt the unease as I read your poem, Gayle, and it ave me a shiver!

    Like

    Reply
  6. Glenn Buttkus

     /  June 17, 2016

    You did good, Gayle; interesting counterpoint form you used, & wonderful poem. Several times in my life, rats & mice have made my life hell. We have a full finished basement. We use the bedroom down there. Our three daughters, when still at home, used the bedrooms upstairs. We have ghosts here, but no rodents.

    Like

    Reply
  7. You have no idea what you’re doing, and you do it so well! Do not be hard on yourself, Gayle. The process will bear you out!

    Like

    Reply
  8. I like the way this feels like a thumping heart, Gayle. I would say you have metered it out quite well. :) (I’m not fond of meter, per se, on purpose, either.) I think we do it on accident more often than we think. Ha. ;)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. Oh yes … you made my skin crawl with those critter of the basement I think the meter matched it very well.

    Like

    Reply
  10. This reminds me of the cellar that lay like a dark, charred ghost in my mind beneath our house when I was growing up. The steps were slippery and curved (old Victorian house), and the idea of going down there scared me silly!

    Like

    Reply
  11. Anonymous

     /  June 17, 2016

    Cute. Brings back memories of the cellar under our old house.

    Like

    Reply
  12. Well I for one, Gayle, am carried on and on, and the tension and the fear of the creepy crawlers is there! I was always jealous of my friends who had “finished” basements! My old upright piano was in the basement and I had to go down there to practise. Maybe that’s why I quite piano after two years!!!! :)

    Like

    Reply
  13. Definitely a tone of chills and suspense with your metered poem! I like how it made my heart race. ;)

    Like

    Reply
  14. Remind me never to go in your basement! Lol! At my mom’s house she used to send me down to get frozen food from our freezer in the basement and as a kid I hated it. My heart would race and my feet would too as I flew up the stairs. I so know this feeling.

    Like

    Reply
  15. The excellent imagery had my heart thumping with every line! I’ve never worked in this form… hmmmm. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

    Reply
  16. Excellently atmospheric Gayle, I can feel your terror! :)

    Like

    Reply

Please share your thoughts...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Wightrabbit's Blog

Words and Pictures from my Kaboodle on The Isle of Wight

writing in north norfolk

Writer of children's literature, short stories and poetry

Lady Nyo's Weblog

A woman writer's blog with invitations to other writers

Poetry Breakfast

Beginning March 20th, 2016 Poetry Breakfast will once again serve a little poetic nourishment every morning. Start your day with our new expanded menu. Poems, of course, are our specialty. But we will also be serving a fuller menu that includes poetry related creative non-fiction such as letters to and from poets, essays on poetry, and anything else that might feed a poet and poetry lover’s soul.

Mithai Mumblezz

Thinks and again mumbles!!

findingtimetowrite

Thinking, writing, thinking about writing...

mindlovemisery

"We're all out there, somewhere, waiting to happen."

NavasolaNature

Nature needs Nurture

Whimsygizmo's Blog

poetic ponderings...parenting...procrastination...

Tao of Scrumble

A freeform way of life, love and everything

Sharp Little Pencil

Amy Barlow Liberatore... stories of lost years, wild times, mental variety, faith, and lots of jazz

silentlyheardonce

A Silent poet shouting to be heard

generaliregi

Romance of Five Clouds and Magical Poetry

kanzen sakura

South meets East: Poetry and Musings - words of the seasons

Poems, stories, paintings and more by Sharmishtha Basu

(Agnijaat, Agnishatdal, Agnijashatadalama, Indie Adda)

This, that and the other thing

Looking at life through writing and photography

jaywalking the moon

poetry by claudia schoenfeld

She's Writing

Poetry and Prose

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

everyday amazing

spreading good cheer, fun & love for life

Michael's Lair

Just Write WordPress.com site

Björn Rudbergs writings

Poetry and fiction by a physicist from the dark side

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

THE BeZINE

Be inspired...Be creative...Be peace...Be

bardessdmdenton - author- artist

Historical and Literary Fiction / Essays / Poetry / Reviews /Book Cover and Interior Illustrations / Pet Portraits and Other Commissioned Artwork ... "Handle a book as a bee does a flower, extract its sweetness but do not damage it.” ~ John Muir, naturalist, author, 1838 - 1914

Soul Dipper

Spirit Builder by Design

Contemplative Moorings

The official blog of unofficial author Michael Marsters.

Ramblings From A Mum

This is my journey, my thoughts, my views, plain and simple and from my heart. Please travel with me and share, hopefully it will be an interesting trip.

bwthoughts

copyright 2013 - no reuse without permission ( see bwfiction.wordpress.com for fiction and fantasy )

"On Dragonfly Wings with Buttercup Tea"

All Is One With Our Creator

MyHeartBlog

Take Control of Your Health

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

Wanjiku

poetic inspiration from life's simplicity

k8edid

Mumblings of a Middle Aged Madwoman

IN MY NEXT LIFE

if I go around more than once then ...

I Rhyme Without Reason

I live in words

Soul Speak

'You may say I'm a Dreamer, but I'm not the only one' ~ John Lennon

~ Dragon's Dreams ~

Carpe Noctem Quod Tempus Fugit!

Dreamwalker's Sanctuary

A Sanctuary for Enlightenment and Peace through Poetry and Inspirational Thoughts as we go through Life

Lafemmeroar

laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it

Lorna's Voice

Finding ways to make words sparkle

Olivia's In- Mind Whirls..

"It's all in my mind"

dVerse

Poets Pub

Leslie White

View artwork by Leslie White

%d bloggers like this: