Fog

your casket awaits
tears blur my view of your hands
pale and still they rest
time for busyness has passed
fog veils the low hanging moon

Michelle (aka Mish) is our host at dVerse for Poetics and our prompt is “hands.”  Please join us:  http://dversepoets.com/2016/03/15/poetics-can-you-give-me-a-hand/#comment-108042

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18 Comments

  1. The fog of grief over pale hands stilled…I have known it too.

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  2. That fog, the blur of welling tears… a feeling of loss many have felt… yet when you are there you’re left alone.

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  3. Low hanging moon… sigh.. brilliant!

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  4. Your poem captures the somberness of that moment SO very well! Sometimes the moon does seem to hang lower in the sky.

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  5. The line that struck me the most was..”time for busyness as passed” as in end, our hands finally rest. The imagery of the fog veiling the moon parallels with the blur of tears and grief. You have really captured the feeling of loss.

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  6. A beautiful and touching tanka Gayle ~ The turn for me is this: pale and still they rest ~

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  7. sad and heavy

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  8. A stunning piece, Gayle.

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  9. Like the tears blurring the hands, like the fog. Nice piece.

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  10. That last line pulls a layer of somber gray over the whole poem. So well done.

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  11. Beautiful and touching tanka Gayle! Awesome!

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  12. The sad moment of truth. One bears witness to the passing of a loved one can be most painful. Very true Gayle!

    Hank

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  13. The hands, our hands, do tell the stories of a life. Working with the elderly as I did for so much of my career, I often thought of this. Now I’m off to write mine. A bit late, but that’s how it goes.

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  14. Paying your respects at a funeral of someone you love, your brain does seem to be fogged over with memories that come flashing by, one after the other. Love how you brought out the essence of that feeling.

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  15. Rine for busyness had passed. That line contains so much power! No matter how important we think our tasks, the time will come when or work will stop.

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  16. I can picture those hands, the fog, and the tears. Beautifully written, Gayle.

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  17. SMiLes.. so sad
    and reaSon
    to dance
    alive..
    with hands
    freely waving
    and feeLinG air..:)

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    Reply

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