“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” –Mary Oliver
As your words went dark and their harshness increased, I felt that something was very wrong. But initially I thought something was wrong with me. You explained things so brilliantly; your gift of conversation and deliberation were masterful. I had always been so proud of you for that. My attempts at discourse with you, especially if I disagreed, were soon set straight…I was mistaken.
Gradually, over many, too-long years, I came to see something else in you. The man I had seen as capable with a sterling intellect was in fact delusional and exceedingly corrupt and insecure. You are a narcissist; you are lost.
I am found.
cold winds sweep the plains
a lone wolf bares her wild soul
howls break free…I’m here
Grace is our host for our 7th Haibun Monday–please join us at dVerse Poets and choose one of the quotes that we’ll be using for our inspiration. http://dversepoets.com/2016/02/15/haibun-monday-7/
Bodhirose's Blog 
Grace
/ February 15, 2016I think we all chose the same quote, smiles ~ I admire the contrast of him being lost and delusional, but you have found yourself ~ There is freedom at last ~ Love the baring of the lost soul, like a self-realization of one’s identity ~ Thanks for joining Haibun Monday ~
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Bodhirose
/ February 15, 2016Yes, we have. I was trying so hard to get across the sense of wild, abandoned freedom in that haiku. Thanks, Grace, it was my pleasure to join with you.
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Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
/ February 15, 2016Sometimes the best in people turns out to be the worst. It’s like a toolbox where you use the best of your tools to cause damage instead of repairing what’s broken… and in the end even Dorian Gray’s portrait caught up with himself… love the conclusion.
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Bodhirose
/ February 15, 2016You’re exactly right, Bjorn. Some choose to do damage instead of good with their gifts and nothing can persuade them otherwise when they’re delusional.
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kanzensakura
/ February 15, 2016The gift of the darkness being the true, wild, wonderful you! I am found….bravo!
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Bodhirose
/ February 15, 2016Right…not a bad deal after all! Thanks for that bravo my friend.
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Victoria C. Slotto
/ February 15, 2016Oh, the haiku is like one huge exclamation point. I have to think most of us have had someone like that in our lives…sadly.
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Bodhirose
/ February 15, 2016Thanks, Victoria. I really wanted that haiku to be an exclamation point! Yes, it’s sad that these types cloud our lives.
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Mary
/ February 15, 2016Your poem packs a wallop, Gayle. Both you and I wrote about gifts of ‘darkness’ we received from people. But, ha, both of us are still here…..and undoubtedly wiser! Good for you for moving on.
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Bodhirose
/ February 15, 2016I was going for that wallop, Mary, thanks, I’m glad it was achieved. Yes, you and I are both wiser I’m sure. And good for you too, Mary.
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thotpurge
/ February 15, 2016Nice image of the wolf against the cold plains announcing its presence..
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Bodhirose
/ February 18, 2016Thanks very much.
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whimsygizmo
/ February 15, 2016YES. I was found much the same way. Well done.
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Bodhirose
/ February 18, 2016Good for you, De. Thank you.
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MarinaSofia
/ February 16, 2016Oooh, I like your wolf-like genuine soul howling free…
This haibun spoke to me very directly indeed. I’ve been stuck in a relationship like this and am gradually finding my own voice and my own ‘wildness’. Thank you for that.
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Bodhirose
/ February 18, 2016So glad this speaks to you, Marina. It took me a long time to find that freedom…I did feel like howling! :~)
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Misky
/ February 16, 2016The joy of freedom and release. Wonderful.
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Bodhirose
/ February 18, 2016It was joyful…thank you, Misky.
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writersdream9
/ February 16, 2016I got chills reading this. We truly can be “women who run with the wolves”! Bravo!
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Bodhirose
/ February 18, 2016Yes, we sure can, Carol! Thank you.
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writersdream9
/ February 18, 2016My pleasure!
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Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade)
/ February 16, 2016Ah, those charming, brilliant narcissists! It’s good that you are found, wolf-woman. 🙂
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Bodhirose
/ February 18, 2016They can be charming and very accomplished…but ugh, you can’t have a normal life with them. It’s very good that I am found. :~) Thank you, Rosemary.
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georgeplace2013
/ February 16, 2016I can relate as well. Glad that ride is over though it wasn’t useless. It was the beginning of finding me.
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Bodhirose
/ February 18, 2016I feel the same way–it had it’s purpose, and it was a gift after all.
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trishwrites1
/ February 16, 2016this was really powerful and I love the way you concluded with ‘I’m here’
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Bodhirose
/ February 18, 2016Thanks so much, Trish.
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kaykuala (@hankkaykuala)
/ February 17, 2016It is a sad discovery especially after many long years. The danger of personality changes can shock many stable beings into submission!
Hank
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Bodhirose
/ February 18, 2016Because I was so young when we met, I didn’t have the awareness to notice that he had this personality disorder until many years later. Whew, it’s a wonder I survived at all. Thank you, Hank.
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katiemiafrederick
/ February 17, 2016Origin of all disorders
of lack empathy most
often start at birth
without a warm
breast.. then..
and hands
of touch
and feel..
path
is often laid
down for never
feeling or filling
essence nowiN
Chalice of heARt..
Grow garden Love
or never
LiVes Now..:)
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Bodhirose
/ February 18, 2016You’re right. He had very little “heart” activity. He lives in his head.
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katiemiafrederick
/ February 18, 2016Yes.. Have to admit.. The worst place of all to be.. Literally out of emotional intelligence.. i must say i have sympathy for him as the REALest human loser..:)
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vbholmes
/ February 19, 2016In some people, preoccupation with intellect hobbles their emotional development and leads to a destructive concentration on self. You are lucky you escaped.
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Bodhirose
/ February 19, 2016How right you are…on both accounts!
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