Mannequin

The repetitious,
controlling drone
is too much to bear
as her mind swirls
in a dance of confusion.
The words he utters
are used to undermine
and divide. Selfishness
has replaced affection.
His queen, now a belittled
mannequin, a victim
of his malicious sport.

Come join us at dVerse Poets as Bjorn introduces a new prompt today entitled Quadrille. We will write an entire poem using exactly 44 words. Further instructions are here: http://dversepoets.com/2016/01/18/quadrille-1/

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41 Comments

  1. thefeatheredsleep

     /  January 18, 2016

    Excellent writing

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  2. Anonymous

     /  January 18, 2016

    Wow! Great. I love it when a normal view of something is transformed. It makes me think.

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  3. Glenn Buttkus

     /  January 18, 2016

    He does not make a decent dance partner, let alone lover or mate. A man like that deserves a blow-up doll, not a flesh & bone real woman.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  4. That dance of confusion is the worst kind of dance. He sounds like a beast!

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    • (One thing though -Bjorn asked that the word be used as a verb with an object….it is a noun here. Feel free to delete this comment.)

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    • He is a beast, Mary. My intention was that ‘dance’ was being used as a verb here. Would the object be ‘confusion?’ Or maybe I’m completely confused which surely could be the case. :~) Help! I was using as my guideline the third example Bjorn gave us: “The dog danced itself to madness.”

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  5. Stepford Wives revisited. Here’s to her finding independence and dancing a solo….rather than a pas de deux with him pulling the strings!

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  6. She needs to get away from this controlling drone ~ That last line is a dramatic close ~

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  7. it’s only right to lead someone where they can complement your moves. So I guess the only option would be to remind him of his lack. Good thoughts to ponder

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  8. Forget my comment, Gayle. Seems very few are using ‘dance’ with an object.

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  9. Sad, indeed.

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  10. That sounds like a dance of dread. Very powerful images.

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  11. Ugh, what a despicable partner she has. He thinks of his treatment of her as sport? … Very good poem that bring up disturbing images. Thank you, Grace. 🙂

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  12. The dance of confusion….blech…it makes the room spin, and not in a good way 😛

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  13. SpiRaLinG DanCinG
    dArk and liGht
    grace and beauty
    chaos and ugly
    dancing human
    SonG.. dancing
    life aLL liGht
    dArk..
    dancing UniVerse
    Dancing all the
    objects dancing
    ALL..
    now
    day and night
    Dancing just dancing…
    dArk then light SinGinG
    inspiRing dancing
    more.. InfiNity
    n0w.. Dancing…

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  14. What a shame! One can make a quick exit without giving any reasons surely!

    Hank

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  15. One doesn’t know the other’s behavior when under stress…or no guarantee he is authentic..thoughtful poem. Love the new face of your blog. 😉

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    Reply
  16. Ah..though you didn’t quite use dance in the right way you have created a chilling poem… You could have used danced into confusion… Truly I really liked how you used it,

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    Reply
  17. I think someone needs to dance herself right out of there and be free…then no more controlling freak…:(

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  18. It’s a sad thing when abuse wears the mask of love.

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  19. What a reminder to not fall for the fake lavishness of life. I will be sharing with a special friend. Thank you.

    Like

    Reply
  20. I like this take on the prompt and the way you used dance. And so many women think this is how it is supposed to be or all they deserve. Very sad, but excellent poem.

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    Reply
  21. I once was on the other side one time… being the good guy often works against us too.

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  22. Are you writing about my failed marriage again? 😉

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  23. I love the last three lines of this poem.

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  24. A very powerful piece.The word that really hit me was “sport”. I believe it can be just that for some emotionally underdeveloped souls.

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    Reply
  25. Mental and emotional abuse can have equal or worse effects as physical abuse–it can be overt or so subtle the victim doesn’t even know she/he is being victimized. Good portrayal.

    Like

    Reply

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