Foul Play, a Florette

solitary is the bard’s life
headstrong, stubborn words causing strife
distractions cannot be obeyed
intent at odds with rhymes, I bade they emerge rife
 
days spent leaning over worn desk
head bowed above maddening task
proposing numerous sketches
erasing scribbling etches, devising drafts
 
dissatisfied, still I persist
too many more are soon dismissed
rhymes are hard to come by this day
did Shakespeare have a verse foul play, or slam his fist
 
was his floor strewn with shamed rejects
until such time he found respect
within just the right syllables
opting for those admissible that shone perfect

Please join us at dVerse poets where I give instruction on the Florette form.  My post will go up today at 3PM EST:  http://dversepoets.com/

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45 Comments

  1. This is so well done, Gayle! Definitely the bard’s life is a solitary one. And yes, often so frustrating, though it feels so good when persistence pays off. It does make me wonder about Shakespeare…whether he had as many false starts as do later bards.

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  2. Ah.. it’s definitely easier today.For those of us on computer it’s more delete and correct… but I could feel the frustration every now and then at least it won’t pile up on the floor… Love what you have done here.

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  3. Such a challenge to find those words that rhyme perfectly & blends in without being too obvious ~ I think he would have many rejects too, and had to keep on revising so the verses can be perfect ~ Thanks for introducing us to this form Gayle ~ I will keep this in mind for my future writing, smiles ~

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    • It really is a challenge. And I have no doubt that Shakespeare rejected many a writing too. I hope to see you give this a try when you get a chance to return to your writing, Grace.

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  4. Sometimes I realize how many talented writers, poets and artist were ignored during their lifetime. At least, we have the Internet so that we can share our work – even if it goes unnoticed by the world at large. Nice take on the prompt.

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  5. Glenn Buttkus

     /  November 19, 2015

    Unnoticed by most, but read & appreciated by some; poets stagnate in a vacuum. Perfect illustration of the form; thanks for the challenge.

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  6. Wonderful ode to the form, in the form. 🙂 I hope I don’t feel the need to slam a fist when I start working on mine. Peace, Linda

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  7. Ah yes.. a bard certainly is headstrong and seems intent at odds with rhyme 🙂
    Beautifully executed.

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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  8. Ah yes, a bard does seem to be headstrong and intent at odds with rhyme 🙂
    Beautifully executed.

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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  9. Shakespeare no doubt has his bouts of frustration and revealed a temper, but it marks the passion one feels when wanting to communicate a certain something and the words are hard to find….I like your take on the bard.

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    • I’m so sure he did, Kathy. We all know how frustrating the creative process can be. I loved your offering about your communing with a smiling toad.

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  10. Perhaps.. the most
    interesting Bard..
    the author of the
    Emerald Tablet..
    attributed to a mythical
    Thoth or Hermes.. thrice
    great.. but likely an
    Arabic poet..
    somewhere in
    the middle centuries
    of the CE.. common era..
    and then of course
    other poetic
    readings
    associated
    with the original
    myth of a 36K
    year old
    Atlantean version
    of 13 chapters
    with 2 supplemental
    ones.. but what i find
    most personally interesting
    is the advice to move in spiraling
    circular ways instead of angles
    to achieve oneness with the all..
    for me it is instinctual.. but
    always nice
    to find someone
    thinking as strange
    as i.. see what i just
    did.. hehe.. the bard
    thing.. housing esoteric
    knowledge.. in poetry..
    smiles..
    for centuries
    long.. ‘we’
    are just doing
    this for now..
    in other words..
    it’s going up for real..
    the irony is often.. delicious..;)

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  11. The eight syllables and the stubborn rhymes! Makes you appreciate the bard so much more!

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  12. First, I have to say I found the form intriguing. Haha at the title and it seems so fitting as this was a tricky task. Yours has such a natural flow.

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  13. brilliant piece Gayle! loved the fight with words too 🙂

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  14. Ha, ha, ha, this sounds all too familiar! I’m sure even Shakespeare had his struggles – although his tight deadlines probably helped concentrate his mind…

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    • I’m so sure he did, MarinaSofia…we’re not the only ones who have been crazed by trying to come up with something. Thanks for coming by.

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  15. Still working on this – my brain is sorely muddled these days – frustration! Wonderful poem you gave us here. And truly a solitary life in many ways. I thought immediately of TS Eliot when reading this poem. A very social man but so solitary in his poetry. Thank you for this prompt!

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  16. Great work, and the title was perfect!

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  17. You are so right! The clear feeling of angst is beautifully portrayed!!

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  18. headstrong, stubborn words causing strife
    distractions cannot be obeyed

    Such sentiments perhaps are indicators. The bard would not be as successful if not for having such qualities within him. Thanks for the prompt, Gayle, a good learning point!

    Hank

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    • None of us can deal with distractions when we have a poem to concentrate on! I believe that Shakespeare was no different. I’m so grateful that you joined in, Hank, thanks for that.
      Gayle ~

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  19. I like your pensiveness about the bard. I hadn’t really thought of him struggling to find the right syllable…but I have many syllables…and even poems…that have stayed on the cutting room floor because I could not find the right words.

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  20. Thanks for posting this for me to read again. I thought a floret was only one verse. Silly me. I think I can work on “Susan” some more to get my point across. Love you!

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    • Happy Thanksgiving, having a great time with the family. I’m glad you had a chance to see what the Florette’s rules are again, Barbara…love to you too!

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      Reply
  21. And this is why I shy away from poetry! 😉

    Like

    Reply

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