Tied in knots, fear grips unyielding,
Hazed future shut down my singing.
Profusion of tears leaves me peeved,
The day cries gray, my heart does grieve.
Stunned anxiety maintains me fixed,
Movement forward seems now transfixed.
Instead of light, my world’s bereaved,
The day cries gray, my heart does grieve.
All is pale, neutral, muted, dark,
My vision heavy, listless, stark.
Where is salvation? I am cleaved!
The day cries gray, my heart does grieve.
I tried another kyrielle today for Open Link Night at dVerse Poets hosted by Abhra. Join us! http://dversepoets.com/2015/09/17/open-link-night/
Abhra
/ September 17, 2015“Instead of light, my world’s bereaved,
The day cries gray, my heart does grieve.”
I like how you used repetition to build your intensity here.
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 18, 2015That’s the form’s requirement, Abhra. It does seem to add to the intensity. Thanks for coming by and hope you are feeling a little better today.
LikeLike
Abhra
/ September 18, 2015Well, I can’t say that yet – I guess the feeling will stay with me for some more time….
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 18, 2015That would be natural…you can’t hurry the process of grieving. My best to you during this difficult time.
LikeLike
katiemiafrederick
/ September 17, 2015Once upon a time grey skies
will never go.. i try so hard..
imagine sunshine
pain…
where sun
is clouds..
no warmth..
only cold..
this death as Life..
another dimension
in life of old.. oh.. the
new can come.. too..
i do not believe then..
when they say
yes.. but
never ever
give up..
i know and finAlly
Feel again is TRUTH..:)
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 18, 2015When things are dark and dire in our lives, it’s sometimes very difficult to see any light or have hope. I always remember that saying: “The darkest hour is right before the dawn.” Thanks for your visit to me! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
katiemiafrederick
/ September 18, 2015Smiles.. You are very welcome..:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sanaa Rizvi
/ September 17, 2015This is so intense..!! Powerful write.
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 17, 2015I know, it is intense isn’t it. Not how I’m feeling, just wrote it on a dark and rainy day we’re having. Thanks for your visit and comment, Sanaa.
LikeLike
Glenn Buttkus
/ September 17, 2015A kyrielle is a new form to me. The refrain works very well, pounding home the message; a dark but worthwhile journey, these poetics.
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 17, 2015It’s a French form and that repeating refrain does seem to add a punch doesn’t it. Thanks for your visit, Glenn.
LikeLike
Pleasant Street
/ September 17, 2015Writing always helps me when I’m grieving. I hope you find peace
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 17, 2015It does me too but no, not grieving, just channeling some memories. 🙂
LikeLike
tamekamullins
/ September 17, 2015I like this form and will try it soon. Thanks for sharing. I love the outcome of your creation.
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 17, 2015I hope you will give it a try and if you do let me know…I would love to read it! Thanks for coming by and for your kind compliment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
tamekamullins
/ September 18, 2015Will do. You’re most welcome!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Grace
/ September 17, 2015Such sadness and grieving in your poetic form ~ I specially like:
Where is salvation? I am cleaved!
The day cries gray, my heart does grieve.
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 17, 2015Thank you, Grace. Yes, it’s pretty sad…
LikeLike
ihatepoetry
/ September 17, 2015Wow, very powerful, esp with the repeating motif.
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 17, 2015That’s a part of the form…that repeating line. Thanks for coming by. 🙂
LikeLike
Victoria C. Slotto
/ September 17, 2015You are so good at writing to form, Gayle, and the kyrielle serves the theme of this poem so well–plaintive, mourning.
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 17, 2015That means a lot to me coming from you, Victoria, thank you so much. I think that repeating line worked very well with this form too…makes it even sadder somehow.
LikeLike
kanzensakura
/ September 17, 2015Beautiful form. The day cries gray……wow. Wonderful poem.
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 17, 2015Thanks very much…I appreciate that.
LikeLike
Jamie Dedes
/ September 18, 2015Well done. Lines three and four: memorable. The whole poem is memorable, but they especially seem to sing out. Nicely done, Gayle.
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 18, 2015Thank you very much, Jamie…memorable is good! 🙂 I appreciate that!
LikeLike
sharmishtha basu
/ September 18, 2015well captured!
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 18, 2015Thank you, Trisha! 🙂
LikeLike
Madeleine Begun Kane
/ September 18, 2015Powerfully sad and well written.
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 18, 2015Many thanks, Madeleine.
LikeLike
Sherry Blue Sky
/ September 18, 2015You have written a wonderful kyrielle, in tones of gray and grieving…….beautifully done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bodhirose
/ September 18, 2015Thank you, Sherry!
LikeLike
Sue Dreamwalker
/ September 18, 2015Hi Gayle.. wishing your days bright and blue.. 🙂 Great poem your words were felt deep, xxx wishing you well.. Love and Hugs my friend xx Sue
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bodhirose
/ September 18, 2015Hi Sue, so nice to have you visit and thank you. I seem to be able to channel angst pretty well! 🙂 Love and hugs for you…
LikeLike
Mary
/ September 18, 2015I do like the kyrielle form, and you worked it very well. Those gray days are definitely hard to live through..and one can always hope that the sun will shine tomorrow!
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 18, 2015Thanks, Mary. We’ve been socked in by flooding rains for a few days now. We did see a little bit of sun this morning before it started up again. It too will pass. 🙂
LikeLike
Vinay Leo R.
/ September 19, 2015All is pale, neutral, muted, dark,
My vision heavy, listless, stark.
Where is salvation? I am cleaved!
The day cries gray, my heart does grieve.
Oh yes. Sometimes, I feel the same. Though I do love a rainy day, too much of it at one go can be irritating I guess.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bodhirose
/ September 19, 2015Well, this poem was about more than just a gray day…it was expressing some grief too which mirrored the grayness of a rainy day. Glad to see you again, Vinay and thanks for coming by. 🙂
LikeLike
Renee Espriu
/ September 19, 2015You are quite good at writing according to a particular stance. I’ve never had much luck with it, hence, the prose I write. I live this alot.
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 20, 2015Thanks so much, Renee. You’re excellent at the prose you write so don’t worry yourself about forms.
LikeLike
MarinaSofia
/ September 20, 2015Kyrielle is a new one to me as well. The repetition also works at the level of the sounds – a lot of v and x, unusually, which create an effect of halting, stumbling, that suits the mood of the poem very well.
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 20, 2015Kyrielle is a French form. It’s interesting that you picked up on the letters that were repeating as well…that was totally unplanned on my part. Thanks for your astute comment, Marina.
LikeLike
booguloo
/ September 20, 2015I really like this form. I done this a few times but never knew what is was until today. –smile– This cries out to be yelled at the top of the mountain.
LikeLike
Bodhirose
/ September 21, 2015Hi Michael…so glad to see you again and thanks for that enthusiastic review! 🙂
LikeLike
dragonbad8507
/ September 21, 2015Gayle, you impress me with your talent. So glad I know you. Love this. Will have to have another go at this style. You are such an inspiration!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bodhirose
/ September 21, 2015Thank you so very much for your most generous compliment, Barbara, it means a lot to me. I’m glad our paths crossed too. You know if we could gain access to our group’s blog we could actually put out some prompts and/or for form poetry and put the instructions up there. We could take turns coming up with an idea for the group. Maybe when we reconvene in October, we could get that started. If, of course, everyone agrees. What do you think about that?
LikeLike
Anonymous
/ September 23, 2015Love the idea. My boss said today “tomorrow starts today”. I have started a poem with that theme. Please try one too. Do we want another “date” before our next meeting in Oct? Is it the 1st or 2nd Saturday? The holes in my brain sieve are getting bigger. Please respond via text. Thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sean Michael
/ October 2, 2015You did well with this one. I like it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bodhirose
/ October 3, 2015I appreciate your kind compliment, thanks so much, Sean.
LikeLike