Day Cries Gray

Tied in knots, fear grips unyielding,
Hazed future shut down my singing.
Profusion of tears leaves me peeved,
The day cries gray, my heart does grieve.

Stunned anxiety maintains me fixed,
Movement forward seems now transfixed.
Instead of light, my world’s bereaved,
The day cries gray, my heart does grieve.

All is pale, neutral, muted, dark,
My vision heavy, listless, stark.
Where is salvation? I am cleaved!
The day cries gray, my heart does grieve.

 

I tried another kyrielle today for Open Link Night at dVerse Poets hosted by Abhra.  Join us!  http://dversepoets.com/2015/09/17/open-link-night/

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49 Comments

  1. “Instead of light, my world’s bereaved,
    The day cries gray, my heart does grieve.”

    I like how you used repetition to build your intensity here.

    Like

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  2. Once upon a time grey skies
    will never go.. i try so hard..
    imagine sunshine
    pain…
    where sun
    is clouds..
    no warmth..
    only cold..
    this death as Life..
    another dimension
    in life of old.. oh.. the
    new can come.. too..
    i do not believe then..
    when they say
    yes.. but
    never ever
    give up..
    i know and finAlly
    Feel again is TRUTH..:)

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  3. This is so intense..!! Powerful write.

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    • I know, it is intense isn’t it. Not how I’m feeling, just wrote it on a dark and rainy day we’re having. Thanks for your visit and comment, Sanaa.

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      Reply
  4. Glenn Buttkus

     /  September 17, 2015

    A kyrielle is a new form to me. The refrain works very well, pounding home the message; a dark but worthwhile journey, these poetics.

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  5. Writing always helps me when I’m grieving. I hope you find peace

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  6. tamekamullins

     /  September 17, 2015

    I like this form and will try it soon. Thanks for sharing. I love the outcome of your creation.

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    Reply
  7. Such sadness and grieving in your poetic form ~ I specially like:

    Where is salvation? I am cleaved!
    The day cries gray, my heart does grieve.

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    Reply
  8. Wow, very powerful, esp with the repeating motif.

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    Reply
  9. You are so good at writing to form, Gayle, and the kyrielle serves the theme of this poem so well–plaintive, mourning.

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    • That means a lot to me coming from you, Victoria, thank you so much. I think that repeating line worked very well with this form too…makes it even sadder somehow.

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  10. Beautiful form. The day cries gray……wow. Wonderful poem.

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  11. Well done. Lines three and four: memorable. The whole poem is memorable, but they especially seem to sing out. Nicely done, Gayle.

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  12. well captured!

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    Reply
  13. Powerfully sad and well written.

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    Reply
  14. You have written a wonderful kyrielle, in tones of gray and grieving…….beautifully done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. Hi Gayle.. wishing your days bright and blue.. 🙂 Great poem your words were felt deep, xxx wishing you well.. Love and Hugs my friend xx Sue

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  16. I do like the kyrielle form, and you worked it very well. Those gray days are definitely hard to live through..and one can always hope that the sun will shine tomorrow!

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    • Thanks, Mary. We’ve been socked in by flooding rains for a few days now. We did see a little bit of sun this morning before it started up again. It too will pass. 🙂

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  17. All is pale, neutral, muted, dark,
    My vision heavy, listless, stark.
    Where is salvation? I am cleaved!
    The day cries gray, my heart does grieve.

    Oh yes. Sometimes, I feel the same. Though I do love a rainy day, too much of it at one go can be irritating I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Well, this poem was about more than just a gray day…it was expressing some grief too which mirrored the grayness of a rainy day. Glad to see you again, Vinay and thanks for coming by. 🙂

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      Reply
  18. You are quite good at writing according to a particular stance. I’ve never had much luck with it, hence, the prose I write. I live this alot.

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    Reply
  19. Kyrielle is a new one to me as well. The repetition also works at the level of the sounds – a lot of v and x, unusually, which create an effect of halting, stumbling, that suits the mood of the poem very well.

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    Reply
    • Kyrielle is a French form. It’s interesting that you picked up on the letters that were repeating as well…that was totally unplanned on my part. Thanks for your astute comment, Marina.

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      Reply
  20. I really like this form. I done this a few times but never knew what is was until today. –smile– This cries out to be yelled at the top of the mountain.

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    Reply
  21. Gayle, you impress me with your talent. So glad I know you. Love this. Will have to have another go at this style. You are such an inspiration!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Thank you so very much for your most generous compliment, Barbara, it means a lot to me. I’m glad our paths crossed too. You know if we could gain access to our group’s blog we could actually put out some prompts and/or for form poetry and put the instructions up there. We could take turns coming up with an idea for the group. Maybe when we reconvene in October, we could get that started. If, of course, everyone agrees. What do you think about that?

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      • Anonymous

         /  September 23, 2015

        Love the idea. My boss said today “tomorrow starts today”. I have started a poem with that theme. Please try one too. Do we want another “date” before our next meeting in Oct? Is it the 1st or 2nd Saturday? The holes in my brain sieve are getting bigger. Please respond via text. Thanks.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  22. You did well with this one. I like it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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