Without You

Without you,
I wouldn’t be
where I am today,
without you.

Brian encourages us to write a poem in under 40 words. Mine is 11 words. http://dversepoets.com/2014/08/07/meetingthebar-its-a-small-small-world-so-lets-limbo-like-there-is-no-tomorrow/

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42 Comments

  1. strong write; exactly how I feel about my mama 🙂

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  2. I like the way you frame your poem with the same words and how this adds emphasis to your poem.

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  3. ah…nicely done. better to have…well, maybe not.

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  4. I like the way this poem travels full circle!

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. i like the echo of without you on each end…it makes a nice sandwich of the heart…and acknowledging what they have meant to your life….

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  6. I like the ending twist on without you ~ Maybe its for the best ~ Good one Gayle ~

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  7. Lovely! Like other commenters, I like the repetition.

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  8. Wonderful tribute uniquely presented– the repetition adds power to your words.

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  9. there are people that influenced my life so much that i cannot imagine where i would be without them… beautiful thankfulness shining through in this

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  10. I like the paradox 🙂

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  11. Wow! Repetition in a poem of eleven words…stunning, Gayle 🙂

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  12. Simple but stunning, Gayle ~ the repetition is so clever! 🙂

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  13. so strong.. and yes the repetition made it so much stronger.. very good

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  14. This is amazing in it’s simplicity and strength!

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  15. Strong words, succinct and perfect. The repeated line gives it depth.

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  16. heartfelt words shine more in its simplicity….wonderful

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  17. Glenn Buttkus

     /  August 8, 2014

    I got something different out of this; the refrain is a witty slam; after a break up; like “thanks for being an asshole, I learned a lot” kind of message; the lure & magic of poetic interpretation, right?

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    • You got it, Glenn. I was saying, being with you helped me continue on…without you. Yes, we all bring our own set of experiences that put a particular slant on how we interpret writings. It’s very interesting to me…

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  18. One of the things that has always intrigued me is how two different people reading the same piece can see different things. I think that’s one of the reasons I like poetry; I can reveal something and feel safe that my word will not necessarily reveal my secrets. On first read I did not read it as Glenn did, but after reading his comment I reread it and saw it in a new light. A lovely piece in both lights.

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    • Thanks, rmp. I find that intriguing too and like your idea of keeping some privacy by the way you write your words. Yes, the human mind is very interesting. So glad you came by…I appreciate your insight.

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  19. That last line just spins the whole message, Gayle. Brilliant!

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  20. Short … Sweet … Perfect !!!

    Liked by 1 person

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