Lesson Learned (But it Felt Like a Waste)

What a waste, I set myself up for pain,
waiting my entire life for a repentant word.
Lips grew tighter and inhumane.

And no, you couldn’t deign
remorse even when not slurred.
What a waste, I set myself up for pain.

Making gestures disguised and feigned
as regret didn’t fool me, it was absurd;
lips grew tighter and inhumane.

A study of your behavior was arcane,
the good and bad I saw in you was blurred.
What a waste; I set myself up for pain.

At the end, waiting still to claim
an apology for years of being spurred,
lips grew tighter and inhumane.

Ah well, a lesson did I manage to obtain,
to my own self make whole is preferred.
What a waste, I set myself up for pain,
waiting my entire life for a repentant word.

Claudia is our hostess at dVerse Open Link Night and encourages us to write with passion…if not technical perfection. I do try! http://dversepoets.com/2014/02/11/openlinknight-week-132/

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21 Comments

  1. nice…we should def focus on self healing and not waste our lives waiting on the repentence of others…we have no control over them and they have to choose for themselves….

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  2. it’s tough… and can be a long process til we learn that we should rather take things into our own hands than waiting for others to apologize or change… ugh – felt pain…

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  3. Oh this hurts. Some people are really hard-hearted; and with some people all one can do is remember it is about them and not about you….and try to move on.

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  4. It’s a difficult enough job to know our own psyche let alone that of others. Some people are just plain selfish but cannot see it or do not want to atone.

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  5. Wow. I’ve never managed a villanelle. This seemed so natural I hardly noticed the form at first, but I was sorta cheating since you’d told me…
    Sadly, I can relate to this reality all too well…thanks for sharing it and thanks for coming by today! Nice to meet you.
    Tina @ Life is Good

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    • Well thanks for the generous comment, Tina…I appreciate it…and nice to meet you too. And sadly, too many of us know this reality…bummer.

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  6. Were you looking over my shoulder as I was writing out some reflections this morning? This is so good and such a well-executed form as I read it. Not an easy form, to be sure.

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    • I don’t think I was, Victoria…but this is something that many of us have reflected on. And I appreciate your kind words for the poem. I have gravitated to this form several times…am I a glutton for punishment or what?!

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  7. Beautifully crafted. It seems to me forgiveness is the gift we give ourselves, it softens the pain… we cannot change others, only our response… it is said so often, yet that does not make it easy.

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    • I agree with you, Laura, about forgiveness…truly it is a gift for ourselves. And so hard not to expect something from others that they clearly can’t give…we set ourselves up for pain. Those expectations will get us if we’re not careful! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.

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  8. Pantoum I can do… Villanelle no…You have inpsired me to try again. Well done.
    Some people will never say’ I am sorry. ‘ People like this are never at peace. It is called karma or Divine retribution. So remember as much as they hurt you, the pain of having to live with themselves is much worse.

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    • I have complete faith that you can do a villanelle…yes, you can. And I so agree with you about these people…they are not happy…or peaceful. And thank you for your compliment and sharing with me.

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  9. The repetition is most effective in this poem, Gayle.

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