Outcast

Walking downcast into school each day,

No friendly faces meet you there.

Shy and forlorn and can’t connect

Even the teachers don’t have your back.

(An open heart is being rejected).

An outstretched hand not met by one,

Circles of backs not letting you in.

Up-turned noses looking down at you,

The isolation is overwhelming

(the awkwardness too.)

Scowling glances meet your gaze,

Ridicule and mockery and snickers of hate,

Greet you daily…

(it’s too much to take).

Home life is stressful; there’s not much money.

Dad’s an alcoholic and Mom’s emotionally vacated.

No one is there to ease the pain.

No one sees the relentless agony.

And the weighted burden

Becomes oppressive and crushing

Day after day after day…

Dejected, despondent, hopeless and desperate,

Abandoned, forsaken, deserted and desolate.

Photo:  Google Images

Over at dVerse Poets, Karin Gustafson (ManicDdaily) invites us to write on the subject of exile (or Molly):  http://dversepoets.com/2012/06/16/re-joycing-in-poetics-and-exile/

This is a former posting that I have made some changes to for today’s offering.

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53 Comments

  1. This is heart wrenching and felt by so many today. Amazing isn’t it:! Even though we are completely engulfed by a technological connection to our world – pixels will never replace a hug.

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  2. So sad for a kid to be an outcast by both her peers and the teachers too and then not to be able to go home and share it with parents has to just put the tin lid on it. How sad!

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  3. This is so sad, when one goes through one’s days and is not met by a friendly face, either a peer or a teacher. And also that when one goes home it is not a pleasant environment either. I think many are ‘exiled’ in this way….with no warmth and care in their life, no one to look them in the eye and say, “I see you. I am glad to know you.” A strong write.

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  4. dang…nice ping to the emotions in this one…and exile to yourself…fitting in no where…school was def like that at times…and brutal…and when home is not safe either that makes it all the worse…i hope someone finds them…

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    • School was hard for me at times..home was hard too. Every child should feel safe…somewhere and with someone.

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  5. This is so sad, the whole family is broken, an outcast in neighborhood ~ An excellent share of being an exile in one’s home and community ~

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  6. hedgewitch

     /  June 16, 2012

    Yes, that’s one of the most complete forms of exile there can be–vividly brought to life, and the ache in the last two lines is palpable–we feel so much more than we can handle and we often get so little help dealing with it at that age. Very empathetic piece, bodhirose.

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    • Yes, especially to a child who doesn’t have the coping skills to deal with the pain. Well, it would be difficult for anyone to deal with this total exile…everywhere you turned.. Thanks, Joy.

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  7. Just awful when this happens, and I think it’s not so uncommon. Even when families are together or caring, kids can be outcast in school. k.

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  8. This type of exile is horrible, though all too often common. You have described it so clearly that it brings back the memories and the adolescent fears that I understand too. Your poem explores the reality of it bravely.

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    • Children can be cruel to other children…not realizing the deep damage they’re doing sometimes. And parents that are uncaring..well, I don’t have much sympathy for them…it makes me angry. Thank you, Chaz.

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  9. An all too common reality for children. Changing schools is hard on its own, but when your home life is in ruins…sad.

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    • Children might have a fighting chance if their home life is safe and secure but if school and home are messed up..pretty tough not to end up damaged somehow.

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  10. Your words convey the overwhelming feeling of rejection perfectly, painting a strong image of the ways in which a group can exclude one person. This is a subtle, passive form of bullying, which is nonetheless destructive, particularly as the lone person has no-one else to confide in, no-one who cares. A very powerful and emotive piece, Gayle ~ I can see that many identify with this experience,

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    • It definitely is a form of bullying and the isolation and hurt is even more felt if no one around you has your back. Cold and cruel… I’m sure it’s been felt or witnessed by many to some degree. Thanks for your visit, Jacqueline.

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  11. Tino

     /  June 17, 2012

    The facade of giving them all the one fingered salute, yet the inner turmoil never ceases, but we overcome……..somehow.
    Heartrending piece

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    • Some don’t overcome very well and end up criminals, thugs or deeply depressed… It’s hard to think about children experiencing this but I know they do.

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  12. I’ve been both victim and participant of this sort of behavior. It’s often started by some rumor and out of silly judgements. The sad thing is adults often push this sort of things away as no big deal when confided to. Teachers don’t have your back — and that line really pricks me. I remember the teachers in my school, they always sided with the wrong kids. Often the one who is hurting the most, gets the most unfair treatment from the teachers. Like it’s not enough the kid has family problems… some teachers have this attitude that such kids are hopeless anyway.

    Maybe I wasn’t in a very good school…

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    • Yeah, that line pricks me too! Why is it that they teachers side with the wrong kids…what’s up with that??! Subtly or perhaps not…teachers can be bullies too. (I think I answered my own question!) I’ve also seen adults not take things seriously and blame the victim for bringing on the bullying themselves. We can only hope that these kids make it through school (and home) and don’t remain scarred for life through the experience.

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  13. this is tough… and there’s no easy way out of this kind of isolation and exile..

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  14. Oh ouch, this resonates for sure. Really like your take on the exile topic, something too many of us can sadly relate to.

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    • That saddens me that so many can relate…I know I can personally…to certain of the circumstances. I’m glad you liked this…thanks.

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  15. Androgoth

     /  June 17, 2012

    A wonderful example of your
    excellence my great friend 🙂
    Do have a lovely start to your
    week Gayle 🙂 😉

    Androgoth XXx

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    • I was just thinking of you the other day..thanks for coming by, Androgoth. And hope your coming week is a good one… xoxo

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      • Androgoth

         /  June 28, 2012

        Sorry for being late in reply, hey it will
        be the weekend next and I hope that
        you have some excitement planned 🙂

        Have a sweet evening
        and a lovely Friday Gayle 🙂

        Your friend Andro XXx

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  16. I totally can relate — except for the alcoholic dad! Thank you for sharing!!

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    • Glad you escaped having an alcoholic father, Becca…I did not..no fun. Thanks for coming by!

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      • I am sorry to know this 😦 … I dated an alcoholic and it influenced the remainder of my life with hyperawareness … I cannot fathom growing up with it. I know it has integrated strength and resilience in you. Blessings, dear one xoxo

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        • You’re very fortunate that you learned a valuable lesson in dating that alcoholic…many people don’t and end up enmeshed in a pretty ugly situation. Addiction is no laughing matter in how it affects everyone who is involved with the user. Thanks, Becca…I appreciate your kindness and blessings. xoxo

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  17. You’ve perfectly captured the sense of isolation back in those days. Also the poem strikes me as being personal and universal at the same time. Nice work, Gayle, and thank you for handling a painful subject honestly.

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    • Thank you, Jamie. Yes, there are some personal feelings shared in here but too much of this hardship is felt by too many children in general. It can be such a hard time being a teenager.

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  18. Too many of our Children in school feel like this Gayle and I am happy that you have highlighted in within your poem… A very sad and heartfelt poem..
    I remember my first day alone in senior school aged 11.. Travelling some miles on a bus in brand new uniform, being the first former again.. My Shyness taken advantage of.. the Bus ride to school was my first nightmare…. Think how much worse this lonely feeling must be when one has no home-life as well.. No one to turn to at the end of a day of bullies that have made your life hell…
    You have given much food for thought here Gayle.. ~Sue xx

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    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings, Sue. My heart goes out to your sweet, little child self…so very sorry. My extreme shyness just about did me in when growing up too. It was so hard for me to reach out and make friends but kids seemed to like me anyway. But my biggest hurdle was my alcoholic father…my shame was overwhelming. I could never bring myself to invite any friends over to my house..my home life was a source of great stress and pain for me.

      It wasn’t difficult for me to tap into those feelings and write this. I have great sensitivity for children who are suffering in any way.

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  19. So cruel…so sad…so unnecessary. Especially as those in authority, such as teachers, reinforce this horrible behavior, and especially where children are involved. I experienced some of this kind of terrorizing when young…I remember a very quiet, tiny and vulnerable girl who was picked on so badly…I couldn’t stand by and let it occur without protest…of course then I became the object of the same. At least I had a loving and supported family! I was never sorry I did stand against the bullies though. This poem speaks so true and with power, Gayle!

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    • Yes, the worst part is the adults that contribute to the pain and burden and don’t put a complete stop to the bullying. Good for you for sticking up for someone who needed protecting, Diane. A very important thing that you did for that little girl..and you’ve never forgotten it either…and perhaps she hasn’t either.

      I’m glad you liked this…thank you very much.

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  20. Wow, you nailed it, Gayle. You chose the perfect words to describe it.

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  21. so sad, reminds me of my parents!

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  22. Brilliant writing on a terrible situation for many, many who come from painful upbringings.
    There is that tremendous isolation you’ve captured in your extremely descriptive words. Each word resonates another challenge the child is trying to fill; yet, not able to find. I can so relate with the pain and the loss of connection so deeply needed.
    You are a genious, my dear friend. It is a wonderful pleasure for me to have found you.
    Namaste,
    Izzy xoxoxo
    p.s. my electricity is back and – YAY – Tropical Debby has moved on.

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    • I know you must be able to relate to this too, Izzy…there’s too many of us like this in the world. Our expectation tells us that our parents should be the ones loving and supporting us in any way possible…so often it just isn’t the case.

      I appreciate your generous words for me, Izzy…I’m glad we found each other too. You are doing so well with your writing..maybe not entirely what you had envisioned doing initially but writing just the same.

      Was surprised to hear that your electricity was off because of the storm…you got it much worse than we did…so sorry about that. We haven’t had our power go off since the dreadful three hurricanes came over our heads one after the other several years back. 🙂

      Namaste..peace and love…

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  23. Excellent to remind us of where our efforts need to be placed. I can not imagine the feelings you must have felt as you created this very moving poem, Gayle.

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    • Unfortunately I can conjure up the memories pretty easily of living with disconnected parents..but I didn’t experience all of this or to this degree. My heart goes out to all suffering children everywhere. Thanks for coming by, Leslie.

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