Despair

Moldering now
as my soul
goes dark,
no light shines
here, all is
empty and stark.
No frivolous fun
(or smile)
brightens my face,
feelings of joy
have seeped
down a crevasse.

Utter despair
has taken
its toll, ravaged
me bleak and
slashed my
whole.  Fear
and quaking
fill my days
as no hope
arrives to ease
this aching.

Abject loneliness
has wrung me
weak–pale
and spent
no one seeks.
Entirely devoid
of sweetness
and care, no
one sees this
walking nightmare.

Photo:  Google Images

dVerse Poetics:  Nightmare Verse http://dversepoets.com/2012/03/31/poetics-nightmare-verse/#comments

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39 Comments

  1. Hi Gayle, I hope this isnt how you are feeling.. ?.. but your words here send my heart out to anyone who is feeling such deep Despair..
    Your words capture such Deep hurt and loneliness… and so deep do they echo I felt them within my own heart as the sadness spilled onto the page…

    A very emotional poem… brilliant in its capturing the meaning of Despair..
    Sending you Blessings and A Hug ~Sue xxx

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    Reply
    • Hi Sue…no not me just the topic of nightmares over there at dVerse…pretty nightmarish place to be. I have been there though and wondered if I would ever smile again. I wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone.

      Thanks for the generous review…I’m glad the feeling was conveyed clearly.

      Peace and hugs,
      Gayle xo

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  2. whew…the loneliness is the palpable…and the despair….def an evocative one…empty is a word that comes to mind….

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  3. Bleak, bleak, bleak- I love it – as you can probably tell I’m a lover of poetry that is spilled straight forom the guts, and this definately feels like it. There isn’t an ounce of light in this piece – it is dense, claustrophobic and relentless. I sincerely hope you aren’t feeling like this right now- and that maybe this is a write about past feelings. either way- my heart goes out to you – I’ve been in this place- still go back their from time to time- but I firmly believe that words and poetry are healing, almost medicinal. Thank you for bravely sharing this…I think the picture you put with I suited it perfectly.

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    • No, I’m not feeling this way now but I have felt depression and anxiety and the alienation that they bring. It still does me good to let those feelings be expressed…I don’t seem to have a hard time expressing them. And, like you, I can still return to those feelings on occasion…yet not as bleak as they once had been.

      Thank you, Stu for a very interesting prompt to get people to tap into their dark sides in some form or fashion…we all have them…right? 🙂

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  4. This is a walking nightmare…to be devoid of light, joy and love ~

    Hope all is well with you ~

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    • Yes it is…such a lonely place to be. I’m doing well…life has interrupted my play here recently but so be it! Thank you, Heaven…I appreciate that.

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  5. You’ve captured the agonizing loneliness of depression so well!

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  6. strong stuff. Evocative and certainly nighhtmarish

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  7. No one sees or no one wants to see. It’s tough even to be kind to oneself when one is like that sometimes, that’s what I observed. A heartwrenching write.

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    • You’re so right…it seems to bring a fear up in people when they witness someone suffering in this way. Too bad about that. Thanks for coming by.

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      Reply
  8. You portray overwhelming bleakness and deep despair so eloquently, in this piece, Gayle. The use of short lines and the image of the wraith-like weeping willow, add to the feeling of insubstantiality, haltingly expressed. Powerful poetry!

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  9. Nightmarish indeed. Good job!

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  10. To have no hope is the worst feeling of all. I’ve been there too – and your words have captured the bleak emptiness of it so well.

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    • I would agree…so devoid of all peace and happiness. I hope these feelings are well into the past, Tony…thanks for sharing.

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  11. Well, if a truly depressed person could find the wherewithal to write a poem, it would have the feel of this one. Wow, this one was bleak.

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  12. true, nightmares are devoid of sweetness, but we can get it back when we wake up.

    semantic feeling

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    • Yes, sleeping nightmares are easier coped with once we awaken….it’s our waking nightmares that can be the extreme challenge.

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  13. hobgoblin2011

     /  April 2, 2012

    Really like how each stanza has an entirely different feel in the way I read it. The last is absolutely fantastic with this cool little rhyme scheme in there. Great atmosphere built up as well. Terrific use of the prompt. All this made for an enjoyable read. Thanks

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  14. Excellent picture choice to go with your words. I can tell that they came from the soul and heart. Only one who has lived through it and come out the other side can draw on that kind of depth. I’m glad you’re not there now, as I agree that it is one of the most hellish places to be. xox

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  15. Androgoth

     /  April 2, 2012

    Your dark edge to poetry is definitely a wicked treat,
    well you know how I like a dark posting Gayle, and
    this one has no Vampires in it either, but that doesn’t
    stop me from admiring your versatility in writing your
    poems, which is always excellent 🙂

    Have a lovely rest of evening now and be wicked 😉

    Androgoth XXx

    Like

    Reply
    • You are so very generous with sharing your thoughts with me on my writing. I really appreciate the kindness you give, Androgoth. Thank you.

      Enjoy your evening! 🙂

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      • Androgoth

         /  April 3, 2012

        I will always tell you the truth Gayle, as anything else would not be right and besides you really are a very talented writer…

        I am sure that everyone that visits your Space instinctively knows that from the very first reading of your fine work 🙂 Believe me you are brilliant my great friend and I always enjoy your poems, stories and… Well everything really 🙂

        Have a lovely evening now and be good too 🙂

        Androgoth XXx

        Like

        Reply
        • I’m so grateful for the wonderful compliment you have paid me, Androgoth and am very happy you have enjoyed my writing…your words mean a lot to me.

          Thanks so much my friend…enjoy your evening too. 🙂 xo

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          • Androgoth

             /  April 4, 2012

            You are very welcome Gayle and I must try catching up with your wonderful postings, I am behind with everyone at the moment my great friend but when I do call by I always know that it will be an adventure worth savouring as you always write with such finesse 🙂

            The word excellent describes your abilities much better I think 🙂 Have a lovely rest of evening Gayle 🙂

            Androgoth XXx

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            Reply
  16. For much of my years as a young woman I dealt with depression and am fortunate now to only have some ‘blue’ times but not the cloud that clung to me every day and for that I am grateful. Thanks for the post.

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    • I’ve dealt with those feelings too, Renee, off and on throughout my life…anxiety and panic joins in as well. I’m glad to hear that you aren’t experiencing those very low, bleak times any longer. I wouldn’t wish that agony on anyone.

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  17. I have dealt with deep depression too, Gayle, and often to explore it is to discover its remedy. This is quite dark but very well done! Hope you feeling brighter on this day–May day–as I write this. Blessings!

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    Reply
  18. Thanks for sharing your personal experience with me. I’ve done a lot of exploring and have discovered much of what causes this pain in me….it is helpful to know somehow. I’m not in this dark place at this time…getting divorced years ago helped immensely! 🙂

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    Reply
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