Phantom Wanders

Phantom wanders

Wanders endlessly

Endlessly searches

Searches eternally

Eternally restless

Restless and angry

Angry for retribution

Retribution for killing

Killing committed with merciless envy

Envy is poison

Poison malevolence

Malevolence with spite

Spite bred hate

Hate continues

Continues forever

Forever phantom

Phantom wanders

Loop Poetry:  End word of each line becomes the first word of the next.

My entry for dVerse Poets:  http://dversepoets.com/2011/09/24/poetics-say-it-again-sam/#respond

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47 Comments

  1. cool dude!

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  2. Lots of new forms ah? Interesting one.

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  3. jgavinallan

     /  August 7, 2011

    Gayle:
    I love the poem…loop…wow.
    I didn’t realize that it was done that way. Very good…you are so talented…I mean…the poem is meaningful and dark
    and you still did that loop think…Wow!
    Jaye
    hugs xoxo…
    spite bred hate
    hate continues…great lines

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    • I just found out about this form tonight and decided to give it a try. Interesting, huh?

      I seem to be in a “dark” mood today–at least with my writing.

      Thanks for being my biggest fan!
      Love,
      Gayle

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  4. I like this form and you pulled it off flawlessly! Great write! 🙂

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  5. Great form and the poem clearly breathes the air of toxic hatred (to me). Thanks for joining in, Gayle. See my comment back at you re: your interpretation of my feeling poem.

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    • For some reason yesterday, my writing was “dark”. This tells of a restless soul (after death) that can find no peace because of lingering hatred.

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  6. Whoa! How do I comment on this? I winding devil’s labyrinth. Good one, Gayle!

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  7. The shifting of one emotion to another builds up the poetical tension to give an spectacular end… and yes, hatred is no good, it makes you turn into a wandering soul, makes you experience the life of a ghost! Masterful Gayle!

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  8. Gayle,
    I am always amazed at how many poetry types there are. Loop poetry … mmmm ….!!! I’m having a difficult time keeping them all sorted. ~~~ : – O
    I like what you did with this one. It is an interestingly dark and eery one. Have you been watching a few horror films??? LOLOL
    I will have to look for my poison ring and fill it for safety. It’s what I got out of it.Was your intention to scare us ???
    I love the feeling challenge Victoria gave us.
    Good job, as always,
    Hugs and Toodles,
    Izzy

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    • I’m amazed at how many types of forms there are out there too, Izzy. Some need a lot more concentration than others.

      For some reason, Sunday was a day of eerie, spookiness for me. Getting prepared for Halloween already…? I don’t know why.

      I really wasn’t trying to scare my readers per se, but maybe just to portray that there is darkness and entities up to no good out there. Best beware!

      The feeling you chose to write about was much more cheerful and sweet than mine. 🙂 I really enjoy Victoria’s challenges too.

      Thanks so much for reading. I hope you weren’t too frightened! 🙂

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  9. this one is splendid gayle. the way you crafted a lesson in a tough style of poetry.

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  10. Never heard of loop poetry before. Thanks for the intro. Beautifully executed by you, I would say. Love the topic … Nice work, Gayle! 🙂

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    • I found this on a poetry site that stated this is a new invented form. I’d never heard of it either but then, of course, many of the forms (old or new) are new to me.

      Thank you, Jamie.

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  11. How creative! I haven’t seen this style before. I’m so glad to have discovered you and your work. : )

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    • Well once in a while I will go looking for a new form to try my hand at–but be aware that I may not follow all the “rules” perfectly as much as I may try. But still I enjoy myself.

      So happy to have you visit and leave such a kind comment–thank you.

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  12. this has a feeling as if you walk up stairs and it builds slowly with each step…very nice

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  13. Very, deep, powerful, almost angry. Strong writing, vivid images. A good write.

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  14. Laurie Kolp

     /  September 24, 2011

    What fun… love the loop!

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  15. Excellent. I really like the pattern of repetion in this poem. Well thought out, and written.

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  16. hedgewitch

     /  September 24, 2011

    Quite an interesting and effective example of repeating form poetry–liked it a lot–.thanks for turning me on to it. There’s a real sense of lostness and despair in that repetition of each word.

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  17. For a poem with so many iterations it really held my attention and has wonderful movement, well done!

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  18. kind of like a chain

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  19. Nice poetry form…stringing it from start to finish. Vivid and terrific images here…lovely ~

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  20. so, this is really cool.
    really, so this is cool.
    this is really so cool.
    Is this really so cool?
    Cool, really this is so.

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  21. those nasties do take on a life of their own sometimes, don’t they?

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  22. Gayle this is amazing how you crafted your lesson in such a touch style of poetry. I command you on your nice poetry form and splendid piece good job
    http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/24/loneliness-the-anger-of-lost-hope/

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  23. I like this form and you used it well!

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    Reply

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