When the moment comes I die
My breath will leave me with a sigh
Ahh, at last I’ll be at rest
All trials and burdens will be in the past
I’ll be alone when I am gone–
Alike the same as when I came
This shell will be tired and withered worn
And I’ll be at peace and welcome home
The transition will be a painless one
A light will appear to guide me on
I will not fret
I will not cry
Just sing me a sweet lullaby
I’m moving from one room to another
Closing one door and opening a window
Out the window I will fly
A whisper of light merged with all there is
Some day to return to birth again
Another writing challenge through Victoria. Prediction of my death.
Entry for Thursday’s Poet’s Rally Week 41
Bodhirose's Blog 
trisha
/ April 5, 2011splendid gayle. what a restful sleep it will be. we all long for a sleep like this, dont we?
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Bodhirose
/ April 5, 2011That’s the way I see it–a gentle transition from one plane to another. Peaceful…
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trisha
/ April 7, 2011I dont believe in afterlife, so to me it will be a blissful eternal sleep. i dont think i was ever much averse to death. i love life but dont feel heartbroken to think it will have to be over one day.
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Bodhirose
/ April 7, 2011Well however we may think of it, I hope it will be peaceful and gentle.
I don’t feel heartbroken about it either.
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trisha
/ April 8, 2011thats the main point- quick and peaceful.
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Bodhirose
/ April 8, 2011Yep! 🙂
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Judy Roney
/ April 5, 2011This brings tears to my eyes. I love that thought of just stepping from one room to another. Beautiful.
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Bodhirose
/ April 5, 2011I like that idea too–effortless. I’m happy you were touched by my poem, Judy–thank you for your visit.
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liv2write2day
/ April 5, 2011Yep! That how I see it, too. Nicely written, Gayle.
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Bodhirose
/ April 5, 2011I could tell after reading yours that you felt similarly.
Thank you, Victoria.
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Life: Between the lines
/ April 5, 2011the transition, one that scares most but I like the positive twist about reincarnation, just lovely B. thanks 🙂
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Bodhirose
/ April 5, 2011Glad you like this–I hope its that easy! 🙂
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honeyhaiku
/ April 5, 2011Gayle this is lovely. A gentle reflection of the soul’s ending for one life into the next. Beautiful.
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Bodhirose
/ April 5, 2011Thank you, HH. I appreciate that.
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booguloo
/ April 5, 2011Very nice.
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Bodhirose
/ April 5, 2011Thank you, Michael.
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lesliepaints
/ April 5, 2011That’s how I see it, Bodhirose…….I sometimes chuckle to myself that I hope I can remind “me” to move toward the light. 🙂
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Bodhirose
/ April 5, 2011Haha, Leslie, something tells me we won’t have to worry about that! Thanks for coming by today and your lovely comments.
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Jamie Dedes
/ April 5, 2011Amen, Gayle. And beautifully executed poem. Blessings …
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Bodhirose
/ April 6, 2011You are so kind–thank you, Jamie. Blessings to you.
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Teri C
/ April 6, 2011Wow, I hope I can die this peacefully. Beautifully written.
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Bodhirose
/ April 6, 2011Me too! Thanks so much for your visit and comment, Teri.
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Paulami
/ April 6, 2011beautifully written 🙂
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Bodhirose
/ April 6, 2011I appreciate your kind comment–thank you, Paulami. 🙂
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dthaase
/ April 6, 2011these days do not end us
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Bodhirose
/ April 6, 2011No they don’t.
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Words Asunder
/ April 6, 2011Comforting words..how nice if they’re true 🙂
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Bodhirose
/ April 6, 2011That would be nice. 🙂
Thank you.
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athursdayschild has a long way to go and much to be thankful for.
/ April 6, 2011I hope I approach transition so peacefully. The picture goes very well with your words.
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Bodhirose
/ April 6, 2011I hope I go just like this. Thank you for your visit and comments.
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Jingle
/ April 6, 2011when it is time, there is no other option,
you will go beautifully like this since you are prepared,
smiles.
masterful job.
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Bodhirose
/ April 6, 2011No, we have no option–we’ll have to go. I hope you are right about being prepared.
Thanks so much, Jingle. xoxo
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Julian Javier the Cyber Mushroom
/ April 7, 2011after reading this, i got excited and suddenly wished to die naturally immediately hehehehe! nicely done and delivered! i love it!
please check mine too: “Beyond Silent Wars”
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Bodhirose
/ April 7, 2011Haha–that’s cute–yeah maybe not such a bad thing after all! So glad you liked this, Julian.
Now, let me go check out yours…
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Sam
/ April 7, 2011Amazing simply amazing… Reminds me of one of the best books I’ve read … ” The Tibetan Book of the Dead”…
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Bodhirose
/ April 7, 2011Well now I’m amazed–“The Tibetan Book of the Dead” is one of my favorites too. I have a quote from that book here on my blog under “Quote”.
I’m glad you liked this, Sam–thank you.
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fiveloaf
/ April 7, 2011lovely write gayle.. my thursday~ http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/12/30/let-it-be-it/
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Bodhirose
/ April 7, 2011Thank you much, Kris. Already read yours today–very passionate–good job as always my friend.
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seabell
/ April 7, 2011Loneliness seems to be running high this Rally… Well done!
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Bodhirose
/ April 7, 2011Now that I think of it–you’re right, Seabell–the postings have been a bit “emotional”.
Thank you so much.
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Vinay
/ April 7, 2011This is beautiful, Gayle.. I read this sitting by my window side, and I can’t help but turn an eye toward it 🙂 I wonder if my escape when the time comes will be through the same window… Eloquent write.
Rally Week 41 – My Poetry
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Bodhirose
/ April 7, 2011It just might be your portal out of here, Vinay–you never know! 😉 Thank you for your nice comment for me.
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magher1
/ April 7, 2011Beautiful way of thinking about death… Lovely words!
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Bodhirose
/ April 7, 2011So happy for your visit and nice comment–thank you, Magher!
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Jingle
/ April 8, 2011..please visit poets who are here, but you did not reach initially, thanks, we call it return favors, part of the rule,
bless your Friday.
😉
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Ana Goncalves
/ April 8, 2011A truly beautiful way to surrender to new beginnings, instead of the end. 🙂
Keep on shining, and have a beautiful Spring.
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Bodhirose
/ April 8, 2011What a lovely comment. Thank you, Ana.
Happy spring to you!
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C Rose
/ April 8, 2011Beautiful expression of the souls journey. ~ Rose
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Bodhirose
/ April 8, 2011Thank you so much, Rose–I appreciate your visit and comment today.
Gayle
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Broken Sparkles
/ April 8, 2011Let’s hope we will all be around for some more time. Excellent! And thank you very much for visiting my Asian girl! Regards!
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Bodhirose
/ April 8, 2011I sure hope we will be. Thank you, Blaga, for your visit. I enjoyed your story very much–you’re welcome!
Gayle
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Becca Givens
/ April 8, 2011” … I’m moving from one room to another
Closing one door and opening a window
Out the window I will fly …”
Nice imagery!
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Bodhirose
/ April 9, 2011Thanks so much, Becca.
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PinkLady
/ April 9, 2011this is how i want to go… restful, peaceful slumber… smooth transition… what a haunting piece!
http://pinklady-bing.blogspot.com/2011/04/remembrance.html
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Bodhirose
/ April 9, 2011I would like this for me too–no drama!
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Someone is Special
/ April 9, 2011awesomely done Gayle.. SmileS.. here is my rally poem… a dream she is… a kiss seals…
Someone is Special
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Bodhirose
/ April 9, 2011So glad you like this, SIS! Thank you. xoxo
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Amity
/ April 10, 2011This is beautiful and quite frightening…predicting one’s death…but I know it will happen to us all…glad that someone like you can freely write about death without any fear!
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Bodhirose
/ April 10, 2011Thank you, Amity–I appreciate your thoughts. I can only hope it will be a peaceful and fearless transition when the time comes. I wrote it as I would like it to be…
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apollorose
/ April 10, 2011Some aren’t afraid to die or how they’ll die, while others are afraid to live and how they’ll live.
Sometimes death brings life and other times extends it.
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Bodhirose
/ April 11, 2011So very true, Apollorose. And so especially sad when people are afraid to live.
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dragonkatet
/ April 11, 2011I hope that your prediction happens exactly as you’ve said here! I enjoyed the slant rhymes in this piece – made it so that it’s not sing-songish, which can be hard to do with rhyme. So I’m curious…if you escape the wheel, what will your next life be? 😀
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Bodhirose
/ April 11, 2011Thanks for your supportive comments! As far as my next life, I would just hope that I will pick up my quest for being able to maintain my peace no matter what life “throws” at me! 🙂
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Chloe
/ April 12, 2011Remember how we both wrote a Haiku about ‘ghostly white flowers’ – with no promt and no communication from one another?? Well, I have recently written a poem about death too…although not posted it yet. NOW I am beginning to get a little freaked out! lols 😀
This poem is great and offers a lot of peace about the inevitability of leaving this earth xx
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Bodhirose
/ April 12, 2011Wow! What’s going on here? I had written mine as a prompt through Victoria. This is getting a little spooky, Chloe. I look forward to reading yours when you post it.
I can only hope that my passing is as peaceful and accepting. xoxo
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The Lonely Recluse
/ April 28, 2011Yet another brilliant poem Bodhirose. The words had a lovely melodic lyricality to them that I truly enjoyed. Such a good view on a macabre subject.
The Lonely Recluse.
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Bodhirose
/ April 29, 2011Thanks so much–you are very generous with your praise–I appreciate it.
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avril yospa
/ August 18, 2011A big topic you’ve chosen here and you’ve written your take on it clearly. I have a just a few comments on the grammatical side;
The first line doesn’t read well..
‘When the moment comes I die’ this would work better with a comma after ‘comes’.
‘I’ll be alone when I am gone–
Alike the same as when I came’
‘Alike the same as when I came’ the rhyming of ‘same’ and ‘came’ in the same line doesn’t scan and ‘alike’ isn’t needed.
Alone again when I have left,
as that moment before my birth
Just a suggestion to drop ‘gone’ as you are indicating in this poem that no one really ‘goes’ but something remains ‘moving from one room to another’.
I would critique more fully, but it’s taking ages to keep scrolling up past all the comments to access the poem at the top of the page.
There is no punctuation except for the – and you start each line with a capital letter with no full stops. A lot of poets do this but I can’t see the value in it. Punctuation to make a poem breathe and add rhythm can really help to improve it, especially when it is read out loud.
You’ve made this very accessible to the reader, which shows by the number of comments.
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Bodhirose
/ August 19, 2011Thank you, Avril, for your time spent critiquing my poem–I appreciate it. I will pay attention to punctuation more closely–I can see how it can help with the flow of the poem. Sorry about the tiresome scrolling for you.
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Claudia
/ August 18, 2011i like esp. the flying out of the window and i think i would start the poem from there and even if it’s future, i would make it present tense. i would also try to fit in some specific images to get the connection between here and there
i’m closing the door and open this window…
from here i would go i think….just an idea..
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Bodhirose
/ August 19, 2011Thank you, Claudia, for reading my poem and sharing your thoughts with me.
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henryclemmons
/ August 18, 2011An excellent inspirational write. I enjoyed very much!!
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Bodhirose
/ August 19, 2011So glad you were inspired, Henry. I appreciate your comment–thank you.
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ALIVE aLwaYz
/ August 20, 2011afterlife?
I don’t know, this rather be a surprise!
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Bodhirose
/ August 21, 2011How about reincarnation? I wonder who I’ll be next time around… 🙂
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