My Daughter Once Divorced Me

My daughter once divorced me
when she was about eleven.
She accused me of too much “Virgo-ing”,
as she so noted in her claim,
and my lame attempts at moon-walking,
were, she said, “embarrassing to me”.

She was tired of me not listening
to her pleas regarding her lunches–
“I don’t want any mustard or mayo
on any of my sandwiches!”

 I admit this, Your Honor– I couldn’t
seem to accept why anyone would
prefer plain, dry cheese bread?

 She also declared that I yanked her head
while brushing her hair one day.

 Well maybe I did, just that once, Sir,
but she kept repeatedly jerking it away.

She hated her bedroom wallpaper–
that “flowery, ugly red print”,

 I agree, you’re so right, Judge; I should have first
obtained her consent.

 I made her wear barrettes in her hair, to
keep her bangs at bay and couldn’t I find
another color besides pink for her to wear?

She complained that I wanted to kiss her
and have an occasional hug–
and why, oh why, did I hover around
and actually talk to all of her friends?
Also, spelled out in her detailed grievance,
was her request for our Sheltie, Leon;
And to wrap it all up–she wanted the house
and all of the contents within.

She drew up the document herself
on her own parent-provided computer
and then ceremoniously hand-delivered
it to me to regale in my expression of horror.

I still have that paper after all of these years to
remind me of that fateful era, when my own dear
daughter went to the extreme of “punking”
her long-suffering mother.

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83 Comments

  1. Don’t beat yourself up too badly with that billy club you’ve designed..

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    • I wished I would have been that ingenious as a kid as she was–I would have divorced both of my parents! She’s a wonderful treasure to me. 🙂

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      • gracefulglider

         /  January 16, 2011

        i love the play out of the story in this poem.
        Oh the things we would learn from our children!!!
        Me’be i should give this to mine too and see if it changes a thing or two 😉

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      • I learned so much from my two daughters. We’ve taught each other through the years.

        You could show it to yours but they may jump on the bandwagon and think it’s a splendid idea!! 🙂

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  2. you are a wonderful mother and this beautiful poem proves it, thank you x

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  3. She was comfortable enough to present you the letter. Long live the children with their dreams and demands. Enjoyed the poem.

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  4. hoo boy- now there’s a teenager! I inagiine she has changed just a “bit” since then! Nicely written….and thanks for all your nice comments!

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    • She wasn’t even a teenager yet! Those years are a whole other poem… 🙂

      She’s a unique, wonderful human being.

      I’m enjoying your photos–you’re welcome!

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  5. Glad things worked out between you two eventually.

    teen age kids intend to rebel, but they do come around and understand their parents ….

    lovely piece.
    Thanks for sharing!
    🙂

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  6. Brought back memories of years long gone between me and my daughter too….(I still have her letters and notes from those times too) Lovely to read my friend…we won’t have it any other way 🙂 oxoxox

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    • Those were treasured times. I still save the sweet cards I get for birthdays, Mother’s Day, etc.–she is a most loving, generous young woman these days.

      Thanks for sharing, Amanda. xoxo

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  7. I enjoyed this piece…I am glad this a memory that could looked upon fondly.

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  8. This poem made me smile..I feel like re-reading to smile again and again. 🙂
    You certainly have such a special way with words, enjoyed very much. Thank you. 🙂

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    • I’m glad this made you smile, Yelena. It made me smile to remember and write this. Thank you for your kind comments for me.

      You’re welcome. 🙂

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  9. Blimey, an 11 year thought up a divorce letter.
    Looks like you have a lawyer in the making. lol

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    • She definitely could have been an attorney but her life has taken her down a different career path! She was something else…

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  10. thingy

     /  January 12, 2011

    LOL, mine just wanted the divorce. No punking.

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  11. Such an interesting and wonderful way to weave your idea in to a poem, loved it!

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  12. pangs of growing up! nice one bodhi.. here’s mine for this thursday.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/02/19/the-tears/

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  13. This had me rolling on the floor. Because I can see my daughter doing this in about 7 years 🙂 And all the claims…the audacity. Children are great. Happy Rally!

    http://mysticmarleei.wordpress.com/2011/01/13/dependent/

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    • You have to keep a sense of humor with children for sure–the little buggers! She had a lot of audacity–that’s the perfect word.

      Prepare yourself, Marlee! 😉 Happy Rally!

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  14. this is hilarious gayle, kids are so sweet and innocent. that paper is worth million dollars.

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  15. Chuckle. The things we do to our kids and the things they do to us. She was actually quite innovative and assertive. At least you knew what was going on with her. Wonderful … and a wonderful poem.

    Blessings of the day …

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    • You have to have a lot of fortitude to deal with a child–bless their little hearts! She was a very clever and assertive child–I admired her so much for that–still do. I’m glad you had a chuckle this morning.

      Thank you.

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  16. kids!!! you are so caring 🙂 she’s lucky to have you…
    beautiful write.

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    • Thanks for that supportive comment, Rajlakshmi–I think she is lucky to have me. She shares a name with you–her’s is Mahan Lakshmi. We mostly call her just Mahan.

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  17. Oh, do I remember those days with my sons! One day, when they are older and more aware of the world around them, they come wondering back for all those things they rejected. :o) Wonderful poem…very creative.

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  18. enjoyed this a great deal, beginning all the way from the title! thanks!

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  19. So well written. Life ! Children! All part of it.

    JP

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  20. Thanks so much, JP. Children sure can add a whole new dimension to our lives.

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  21. I’ve heard of kids going out on a limb to play a joke on their parent.
    Yet I heard of more of them doing it for real.
    Quite a jokester she is.

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  22. Lovely piece, a happy new year and all the best to you. 🙂

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  23. Absolutely adorable. This reminds me of my sister…carrying her huge suitcase down the road at age six because she had been so wronged by my mother…the spunk!
    Thanks for sharing.

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    • Wow–that was spunky for a six year old. Can’t help but smile at that image… Thanks for sharing that and for your generous comment for me.

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  24. Pseu

     /  January 14, 2011

    Very amusing. How old now?
    Frame it and give it to her on her wedding day….?!

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  25. Desiree

     /  January 14, 2011

    Adorable great post. You seem like a great mom. Keep up the good work.

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  26. Brilliant daughter. I wonder if you ever thought about divorcing her and why. Maybe that’s fodder for another poem. Made me smile!!

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    • She was/is a brilliant daughter, Victoria. She’s wonderful. My thing was that I was going to run away from home! There’s a twist–the Mom runs away from home! 🙂

      I happy it made you smile. 🙂

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  27. I started laughing as soon as I got here and saw that title again.

    I just logged in and saw your comment. All yours went into spam. I noticed that been happening since the WordPress update. Lots of people who have been commenting regularly are ending up there???? Is that happening to you?

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    • Jamie, I was alarmed because I had commented on two of your postings and found that they had “disappeared”. I was commenting on one of Trish’s other blogs this afternoon and all of a sudden my comments stopped posting. What’s going on here? Help!

      I was noticing too that people who had visited me before needed moderating again. Something fishy’s going on…

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  28. Hi,

    Your poem takes me down memory lane on the seemingly unending issues and differences with my mother, I think at some point I had ‘divorced’ her
    Nice piece:-)

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    • Hi, I guess it’s a common thing between parents and children. Thankfully, we’ve remained mostly “reconciled” through our long relationship! I’m glad you enjoyed it.

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  29. very beautiful, she must be lucky.. Here is mine, Through a Child Eyes

    Someone is Special

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  30. Thanks so much. I think she is lucky too. 🙂

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  31. lol I like it, lol very funny. The story just pulled me in. Thanks 🙂
    http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/

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  32. So happy you enjoyed the humor, Lynnaima. Thanks for your nice comment for me.

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  33. Happy Tuesday, return favor to those poets who are here yet you did not reach them initially…
    I am saying these to all poets, hope that you take it rationally…
    thanks for the support.

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  34. Nice, I remember thinking the same way about my mother a long time ago. Ah, the misgivings of a child’s mind. Great work, loved the story and the end. Thanks for sharing!

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    • So glad you enjoyed this Leif. It’s tough being a parent and even tougher being a kid. Thank God I remembered that when mine were young.

      You’re welcome!

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      Reply
  35. kashzka

     /  January 20, 2011

    Oh, to have such love, recall with such clarity, as tho I were right there. Absolutely wonderful, Gayle! Thank you!!!!

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  36. Kashka! You came by to see me! Thanks for your visit and kind comment. So glad you enjoyed this.

    We need to have another chat soon–whenever you get a chance.

    You’re welcome…

    Like

    Reply
  37. Kevin Lamb

     /  January 26, 2011

    Very unique and interesting perspective to write from!

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  38. Thank you, Kevin. I appreciate your visit and comment tonight.

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  39. Great title. Great poem.

    Children want to come into their own without their parents being a shadow.

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  40. Thank you, Apollorose. I guess so, she sure did–and at such a young age too!

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  41. I smiled all the way through…………….this is a clever write!

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    • Glad you enjoyed it, Sherry! This is an old posting but decided to put it up on Facebook today and let people have a chuckle. :~)

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      Reply
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