Photo: Google Images
Tossing and turning
in the lingering mugginess of a summer’s night,
sleep is elusive.
Positioning myself in the moonbeam pattern of light
playing across the bed,
I somehow now seem cooler there.
Staring out through the window, far up into the sky,
I search for comfort, a savior
there is none where I rest.
The loneliness gathers me up
and embraces me fully
sorrow catches in my throat
as I muffle my sobs.
Dear God, where are you
my prayer beseeches.
I’m lonely, so alone,
no one sees me.
Bodhirose's Blog 
Trisha
/ October 1, 2010this is simply fabulous gayle. very beautiful. loved the way you have expressed your fear and vulnerability.
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Bodhirose
/ October 1, 2010Thank you, Trisha–I appreciate your support. It actually did come from a memory of when I was little–it made me cry to write it.
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Trisha
/ October 2, 2010some painful memories never leave us, esp if they are from childhood. “A child never forgets how you made him or her feel.”
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Bodhirose
/ October 2, 2010Yes, these feelings can run very deep in our psyches when they originate in childhood. I guess I feel sad for that little girl who felt so alone back then.
Thanks for your priceless friendship and understanding.
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Trisha
/ October 4, 2010and that little girl earned that sadness. nothing is more sad than a neglected child.
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Bodhirose
/ October 4, 2010You’re so right, Trisha. Those pains from childhood really seem to stick with you even though we’ve moved on.
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trisha
/ October 8, 2010a child’s heart is soft cement, scratch it lightly, the mark will stay for lifetime. i know because i was just as sensitive as you were as a child.
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Bodhirose
/ October 8, 2010That’s such a good analogy, Trisha, “soft cement”–and oh, so true! Yes, we were the same kind of children, soft and sensitive. Thanks for sharing with me.
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Trisha
/ October 9, 2010children are very soft natured. i have dealed with them for years 🙂 so i know them as well as i know my own palms.
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Bodhirose
/ October 9, 2010I can imagine that children must love you so much, Trisha!
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trisha
/ October 10, 2010i am lucky, very lucky when it comes to affection of children.
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Bodhirose
/ October 10, 2010How fortunate for you and the children…
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trisha
/ October 11, 2010i believe i am the luckier one in this case.
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Bodhirose
/ October 11, 2010I know what you mean–that’s they way I feel about children I am close to.
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trisha
/ October 13, 2010to me all children are priceless, fountains of joy. i enjoy their presence unless they are dennis the menace or may be calvin.
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Bodhirose
/ October 13, 2010So true, some of them can sure try your patience. But when they are sweet and curious, they can be so charming.
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trisha
/ October 14, 2010i prefer a little well behaved kid, esp those who are not very noisy. some kids can bring the entire place down by banging and shouting. 🙂
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Bodhirose
/ October 14, 2010I’m lucky that when I was nanny to Nicholas and Isabella that they were the more quiet type of children. A tantrum now and then but not daily! Very sweet children. 🙂
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Trisha
/ October 15, 2010some kids can be very moody. specially if they are abused. i have seen it in my sister and brother’s daughters.
my brother’s daughter was quite sweet, but due to regular abuse she was very moody, sensitive and tough to handle.
my sister’s daughter on the other hand was far more matured than lot of adults.
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Bodhirose
/ October 15, 2010I feel so protective of children. It saddens me to think that they may be harmed by those meant to protect them. The pain can have such negative consequences for the rest of their lives.
It’s hard to see it in your own family and be powerless to do anything about it…
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trisha
/ October 19, 2010Its a nightmarish experience to see any kid being hurt, and to see your own niece being hit like a doormat is infuriating. I really feel uncontrollable rage when i see someone hitting, hurting or humilliating children.
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Bodhirose
/ October 19, 2010I feel the same way you do.
I have come to feel very protective of my nephew’s children who I cared for, for months. I hate to think of them hurting in any way.
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Jingle
/ October 1, 2010a little sad,
but you portrayed your mood in beautiful light..
I feel the soft and gentle singing in your words.
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Bodhirose
/ October 1, 2010Thanks so much, Jingle, for your input. I am so touched by your comment.
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Uncle Tree
/ October 3, 2010So, you wrote this in remembrance of the girl you used to be…
sounds like the ‘dark night of the soul’ that many adults experience.
Sometimes writing is about sharing and releasing.
I hope you felt some relief afterwards. (I’m thinking you did 🙂
We can see you just fine. No worries. You did well!
Cheerz! UT
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Bodhirose
/ October 3, 2010Yes, I did.
It seems like a lot of my writing is about that very thing, Uncle Tree, sharing and releasing. And I do find some relief in writing and expressing my feelings. And perhaps having an “audience” who supports me so kindly is healing as well. 🙂
Thank you so much for “seeing” me!
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Tamasin McGregor
/ October 5, 2010cool Gayle, lovely writing, thank you 🙂
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Bodhirose
/ October 5, 2010I’m glad you liked this, Tamasin. It’s nice of you to visit. 🙂
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Jamie Dedes
/ October 5, 2010No, you’re not invisitble … 🙂
Well written poem … Thank you.
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Bodhirose
/ October 6, 2010Thanks, Jamie–I’m not as afraid to show myself either. Your supportive comments mean a lot to me.
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Jamie Dedes
/ April 16, 2011I think you’ve grown a lot more self-confident about having your say and publishing your poems since the time you wrote this. It’s quite gratifying to see, Gayle. Poem on … This is such a lovely, poignant poem that says how we all feel sometimes, even though we know deep down we’re not alone.
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Bodhirose
/ April 17, 2011I believe I have too, Jamie and it’s nice of you to notice and say so. I was just getting going when I wrote this one. I feel like I’ve come a long way.
Thank you for your sweet encouragement. It means a lot to me.
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Carl
/ December 15, 2010I enjoyed this. I could feel the fear and could feel the sorrow getting caught in the throat.
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Bodhirose
/ December 16, 2010So glad you enjoyed this, Carl, and you could feel the emotion. Thanks so much.
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Jingle
/ December 15, 2010tossing and turning…
love the opening…
well done.
have fun in the rally…
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Bodhirose
/ December 16, 2010Thanks so much, Jingle. I’ll certainly enjoy myself.
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cloakedmonk
/ December 15, 2010It causes so much destruction, not being seen. It may be too late, but I see the little girl searching. Thank you.
~Terri, aka the Cloaked Monk
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Bodhirose
/ December 16, 2010No, it’s not too late.
It’s very hard not to be noticed while growing up. Thank you for your sensitive comment and visit today, Terri.
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NotATameLion
/ December 16, 2010I see you
And I see every lovely syllable in this poem. It made me emotional while reading it. Thank you for sharing this poem.
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Bodhirose
/ December 16, 2010Thank you so very much for your kind comment for my poem. And it’s very nice to be seen and acknowledged.
You’re welcome.
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Life: Between the lines
/ December 16, 2010wow! I just wrote another piece from a chil’s point of view and this sort of reflects my same frame of mind. Children are priceless jewels, a gift…
Thanks for this, happy rally!
http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/
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Bodhirose
/ December 16, 2010Thanks so very much for your sweet comment.
Yes, children are priceless little jewels to be nurtured attentively–too bad so many aren’t.
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Olivia
/ December 16, 2010Oh no- you are not alone or lonely- you have me for sure Dear Gayle.. 🙂
It’s been a little busy at my end.. 😦 But I keep trying to shuffle between my schedule to read others too.. You being one of my faves.. 😀
A lot is happening at my end- freakingly busy.. How are things at your end?
Loads of Love My Dear xoxox
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Bodhirose
/ December 16, 2010This was written from my growing up perspective when I was in a lot of emotional pain. I know for sure that I am not alone these days and so grateful for you, Olivia. Thanks for visiting–I really appreciate you. 🙂
Just recovering from a cold but doing good–thanks for asking, friend. 🙂
Lots of love…
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1MereMortal
/ December 16, 2010A very touching poem…thank you for sharing.
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Bodhirose
/ December 16, 2010Thanks so much for reading, 1meremortal. So appreciate your comment and visit.
You’re welcome.
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ashbeezone
/ December 16, 2010Nice thoughts carved with beautiful words
!! EXCELLENT !!
Here’s my poetry
http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/love-is/
!! Happy Rally !!
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Bodhirose
/ December 16, 2010Aren’t you kind for saying so–thanks so much.
Let me go read yours now.
Happy Rally! xoxo
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Marlee-I Mystic
/ December 16, 2010Sad yet beautiful
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Bodhirose
/ December 16, 2010Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Marlee. I appreciate your visit.
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booguloo
/ December 16, 2010Scrolling down past 49 comments… pure.. fragile… open.. exposed.. brave.. I Like It.
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Bodhirose
/ December 16, 2010Thank you, Michael. I appreciate your very perceptive comment.
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danroberson
/ December 16, 2010Your childhood made you the sensitive beautiful person you are now. Open, vulnerable, caring. It shows in your poems.
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Bodhirose
/ December 16, 2010Oh, my goodness–what a kind thing to say–thank you very much for this wonderful compliment, Dan. I so appreciate that.
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Sumit Sarkar
/ December 17, 2010Very strong sentiments…
I feel alone at times…and I just act the way you described in the poem…
Beautiful piece of work 🙂
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Bodhirose
/ December 17, 2010Thank you very much, Sumit, for your comments here and sharing your own feelings.
I appreciate it.
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Tweety
/ December 17, 2010This was so beautiful and sad…powerful words..
loneliness grips me….sad…
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Bodhirose
/ December 17, 2010It can be a very powerful, overwhelming emotion can’t it.
I appreciate your sharing your feelings with me and your visit, Tweety.
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dancingfreak
/ December 17, 2010a child can change ur life
some feeling tat cant be described
lovely 🙂
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Bodhirose
/ December 17, 2010Thanks so very much, DancingFreak, for your very true words and compliment today. It can be hard to put into words how children can change us–for the better, if we allow it.
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Glory
/ December 18, 2010very good!
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Bodhirose
/ December 18, 2010Thanks so much, Glory. I appreciate your visit.
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orange
/ December 18, 2010It reminds of a me I have known most of my life… lovely poem…
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Bodhirose
/ December 18, 2010I’m sorry to hear that, Orange. This was a very pervasive feeling for me while growing up but I have come a long way since those days. Still, though, I can feel for that little girl and the pain is still within me.
May you find some peace in your life and begin to heal.
Gayle ~ xoxo
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Jingle
/ December 18, 2010how are you?
let me know after you are done:
#1: return favor to poets who are here,
#2: commented for 18 poets NEW to you,
Happy Saturday!
Blessings!
Thanks form the contribution!
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Bodhirose
/ December 18, 2010I’m doing well, Jingle. Still returning favors and finding new poets to comment to–thanks for checking in with me.
Happy Saturday to you! 🙂
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littlexwing
/ December 18, 2010This is very tragically beautiful. Tragic, of course, because of the simple thought of someone being so alone. I love the idea of being alone, and whether or not being alone is the same thing as being lonely. Very interesting stuff.
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Bodhirose
/ December 18, 2010Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. I think it is tragic for a child to feel so lonely and being alone and feeling lonely are two very different things.
I love being alone too but the feelings of being “invisible” as a child were very painful.
I appreciate your visit.
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lnfiniterainbow
/ December 18, 2010Look Within – To find Your Grin – Giant Heart – No Longer Apart 🙂
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Bodhirose
/ December 18, 2010Right! You’ve got it. 🙂
Thanks for your very positive comment–I so appreciate it.
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RiikaInfinityy 마왕
/ December 19, 2010I love it! great work!=D
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Bodhirose
/ December 19, 2010Thanks so much, Riika. xoxo
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Shaun
/ December 19, 2010very nice beginning. it was a very common experience that drew me right into the poem. thanks.
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Bodhirose
/ December 19, 2010So glad you enjoyed this–I appreciate your visit.
You’re welcome.
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Niroshan
/ December 19, 2010an untouched concept. u have nice wordings..glad I met u..:)
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Bodhirose
/ December 20, 2010So happy to hear from you, Niroshan. Thank you for your nice comments.
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lmcgregor
/ December 20, 2010Love the poem and the image as well.
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Bodhirose
/ December 21, 2010I so appreciate your visit and comment. Thank you.
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Leo (Leonnyes)
/ December 21, 2010Bodhi, at times, when I’m feeling low, even I look at the moon and ask some unworded questions. Like the darkness holds an answer.. Loved the poem.
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Bodhirose
/ December 21, 2010Yes, Leo, it’s as if the wide, open vast universe has our answers–maybe it does.
Thanks for commenting and sharing with me. I really appreciate it.
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gracefulglider
/ December 23, 2010The loneliness gathers me up
and embraces me fully–
i love the personification of loneliness…. i can relate to it..
i enjoy this poem
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Bodhirose
/ December 23, 2010Thanks so very much, Gracefulglider. I really appreciate your comment for me. xoxo
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