Inner Child

Photo:  Google Images

Tossing and turning

in the lingering mugginess of a summer’s night,

sleep is elusive.

Positioning myself in the moonbeam pattern of light

playing across the bed,

I somehow now seem cooler there.

Staring out through the window, far up into the sky,

I search for comfort, a savior–

there is none where I rest.

The loneliness gathers me up

and embraces me fully–

sorrow catches in my throat

as I muffle my sobs.

Dear God, where are you–

my prayer beseeches.

I’m lonely, so alone,

no one sees me…

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86 Comments

  1. this is simply fabulous gayle. very beautiful. loved the way you have expressed your fear and vulnerability.

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  2. Thank you, Trisha–I appreciate your support. It actually did come from a memory of when I was little–it made me cry to write it.

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    • some painful memories never leave us, esp if they are from childhood. “A child never forgets how you made him or her feel.”

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      • Yes, these feelings can run very deep in our psyches when they originate in childhood. I guess I feel sad for that little girl who felt so alone back then.

        Thanks for your priceless friendship and understanding.

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      • and that little girl earned that sadness. nothing is more sad than a neglected child.

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      • You’re so right, Trisha. Those pains from childhood really seem to stick with you even though we’ve moved on.

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      • a child’s heart is soft cement, scratch it lightly, the mark will stay for lifetime. i know because i was just as sensitive as you were as a child.

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      • That’s such a good analogy, Trisha, “soft cement”–and oh, so true! Yes, we were the same kind of children, soft and sensitive. Thanks for sharing with me.

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      • children are very soft natured. i have dealed with them for years 🙂 so i know them as well as i know my own palms.

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      • I can imagine that children must love you so much, Trisha!

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      • i am lucky, very lucky when it comes to affection of children.

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      • How fortunate for you and the children…

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      • i believe i am the luckier one in this case.

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      • I know what you mean–that’s they way I feel about children I am close to.

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      • to me all children are priceless, fountains of joy. i enjoy their presence unless they are dennis the menace or may be calvin.

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      • So true, some of them can sure try your patience. But when they are sweet and curious, they can be so charming.

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      • i prefer a little well behaved kid, esp those who are not very noisy. some kids can bring the entire place down by banging and shouting. 🙂

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      • I’m lucky that when I was nanny to Nicholas and Isabella that they were the more quiet type of children. A tantrum now and then but not daily! Very sweet children. 🙂

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      • some kids can be very moody. specially if they are abused. i have seen it in my sister and brother’s daughters.

        my brother’s daughter was quite sweet, but due to regular abuse she was very moody, sensitive and tough to handle.

        my sister’s daughter on the other hand was far more matured than lot of adults.

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      • I feel so protective of children. It saddens me to think that they may be harmed by those meant to protect them. The pain can have such negative consequences for the rest of their lives.

        It’s hard to see it in your own family and be powerless to do anything about it…

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      • Its a nightmarish experience to see any kid being hurt, and to see your own niece being hit like a doormat is infuriating. I really feel uncontrollable rage when i see someone hitting, hurting or humilliating children.

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      • I feel the same way you do.

        I have come to feel very protective of my nephew’s children who I cared for, for months. I hate to think of them hurting in any way.

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  3. a little sad,
    but you portrayed your mood in beautiful light..
    I feel the soft and gentle singing in your words.

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  4. Thanks so much, Jingle, for your input. I am so touched by your comment.

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  5. So, you wrote this in remembrance of the girl you used to be…
    sounds like the ‘dark night of the soul’ that many adults experience.
    Sometimes writing is about sharing and releasing.
    I hope you felt some relief afterwards. (I’m thinking you did 🙂

    We can see you just fine. No worries. You did well!
    Cheerz! UT

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  6. Yes, I did.

    It seems like a lot of my writing is about that very thing, Uncle Tree, sharing and releasing. And I do find some relief in writing and expressing my feelings. And perhaps having an “audience” who supports me so kindly is healing as well. 🙂

    Thank you so much for “seeing” me!

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  7. cool Gayle, lovely writing, thank you 🙂

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  8. I’m glad you liked this, Tamasin. It’s nice of you to visit. 🙂

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  9. No, you’re not invisitble … 🙂
    Well written poem … Thank you.

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  10. Thanks, Jamie–I’m not as afraid to show myself either. Your supportive comments mean a lot to me.

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    • I think you’ve grown a lot more self-confident about having your say and publishing your poems since the time you wrote this. It’s quite gratifying to see, Gayle. Poem on … This is such a lovely, poignant poem that says how we all feel sometimes, even though we know deep down we’re not alone.

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      • I believe I have too, Jamie and it’s nice of you to notice and say so. I was just getting going when I wrote this one. I feel like I’ve come a long way.

        Thank you for your sweet encouragement. It means a lot to me.

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  11. I enjoyed this. I could feel the fear and could feel the sorrow getting caught in the throat.

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  12. Jingle

     /  December 15, 2010

    tossing and turning…
    love the opening…
    well done.
    have fun in the rally…

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  13. It causes so much destruction, not being seen. It may be too late, but I see the little girl searching. Thank you.

    ~Terri, aka the Cloaked Monk

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    • No, it’s not too late.

      It’s very hard not to be noticed while growing up. Thank you for your sensitive comment and visit today, Terri.

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  14. NotATameLion

     /  December 16, 2010

    I see you
    And I see every lovely syllable in this poem. It made me emotional while reading it. Thank you for sharing this poem.
    https://bodhirose.wordpress.com/2010/09/30/inner-child/

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    • Thank you so very much for your kind comment for my poem. And it’s very nice to be seen and acknowledged.

      You’re welcome.

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  15. wow! I just wrote another piece from a chil’s point of view and this sort of reflects my same frame of mind. Children are priceless jewels, a gift…
    Thanks for this, happy rally!
    http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/

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    • Thanks so very much for your sweet comment.

      Yes, children are priceless little jewels to be nurtured attentively–too bad so many aren’t.

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  16. Oh no- you are not alone or lonely- you have me for sure Dear Gayle.. 🙂
    It’s been a little busy at my end.. 😦 But I keep trying to shuffle between my schedule to read others too.. You being one of my faves.. 😀

    A lot is happening at my end- freakingly busy.. How are things at your end?

    Loads of Love My Dear xoxox

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    • This was written from my growing up perspective when I was in a lot of emotional pain. I know for sure that I am not alone these days and so grateful for you, Olivia. Thanks for visiting–I really appreciate you. 🙂

      Just recovering from a cold but doing good–thanks for asking, friend. 🙂

      Lots of love…

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  17. A very touching poem…thank you for sharing.

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  18. Nice thoughts carved with beautiful words
    !! EXCELLENT !!
    Here’s my poetry
    http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/love-is/
    !! Happy Rally !!

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  19. Scrolling down past 49 comments… pure.. fragile… open.. exposed.. brave.. I Like It.

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  20. Thank you, Michael. I appreciate your very perceptive comment.

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  21. Your childhood made you the sensitive beautiful person you are now. Open, vulnerable, caring. It shows in your poems.

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  22. Oh, my goodness–what a kind thing to say–thank you very much for this wonderful compliment, Dan. I so appreciate that.

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  23. Very strong sentiments…
    I feel alone at times…and I just act the way you described in the poem…
    Beautiful piece of work 🙂

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  24. This was so beautiful and sad…powerful words..

    loneliness grips me….sad…

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    • It can be a very powerful, overwhelming emotion can’t it.

      I appreciate your sharing your feelings with me and your visit, Tweety.

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  25. a child can change ur life

    some feeling tat cant be described

    lovely 🙂

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  26. Thanks so very much, DancingFreak, for your very true words and compliment today. It can be hard to put into words how children can change us–for the better, if we allow it.

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  27. Glory

     /  December 18, 2010

    very good!

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  28. orange

     /  December 18, 2010

    It reminds of a me I have known most of my life… lovely poem…

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  29. I’m sorry to hear that, Orange. This was a very pervasive feeling for me while growing up but I have come a long way since those days. Still, though, I can feel for that little girl and the pain is still within me.

    May you find some peace in your life and begin to heal.

    Gayle ~ xoxo

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  30. Jingle

     /  December 18, 2010

    how are you?

    let me know after you are done:

    #1: return favor to poets who are here,
    #2: commented for 18 poets NEW to you,

    Happy Saturday!
    Blessings!
    Thanks form the contribution!

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  31. I’m doing well, Jingle. Still returning favors and finding new poets to comment to–thanks for checking in with me.

    Happy Saturday to you! 🙂

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  32. This is very tragically beautiful. Tragic, of course, because of the simple thought of someone being so alone. I love the idea of being alone, and whether or not being alone is the same thing as being lonely. Very interesting stuff.

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  33. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. I think it is tragic for a child to feel so lonely and being alone and feeling lonely are two very different things.

    I love being alone too but the feelings of being “invisible” as a child were very painful.

    I appreciate your visit.

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  34. lnfiniterainbow

     /  December 18, 2010

    Look Within – To find Your Grin – Giant Heart – No Longer Apart 🙂

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  35. Right! You’ve got it. 🙂

    Thanks for your very positive comment–I so appreciate it.

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  36. I love it! great work!=D

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  37. Thanks so much, Riika. xoxo

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  38. Shaun

     /  December 19, 2010

    very nice beginning. it was a very common experience that drew me right into the poem. thanks.

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  39. So glad you enjoyed this–I appreciate your visit.

    You’re welcome.

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  40. an untouched concept. u have nice wordings..glad I met u..:)

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  41. Love the poem and the image as well.

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  42. Bodhi, at times, when I’m feeling low, even I look at the moon and ask some unworded questions. Like the darkness holds an answer.. Loved the poem.

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    • Yes, Leo, it’s as if the wide, open vast universe has our answers–maybe it does.

      Thanks for commenting and sharing with me. I really appreciate it.

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  43. gracefulglider

     /  December 23, 2010

    The loneliness gathers me up

    and embraces me fully–

    i love the personification of loneliness…. i can relate to it..
    i enjoy this poem

    Like

    Reply
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