Goodbye Dad, Or Is It Hello?

My Dad died about five years ago.  Four out of my five siblings and I were in attendance as well as our mother and a few other family members.

He wanted to come home from the hospital more than anything to spend his last moments there but he was feeling some apprehension.  Finally, after my mother gently told him, “Wade, you’re dying”, he agreed to be unhooked from life support and come home one last time.  Even still, his controlling personality was in fine form as he ordered us to make sure there was some Campbell’s tomato soup for him when he got there and to go get some puzzle books at the neighborhood Walgreens drugstore.

Hospice was there for support if we needed them.

He never ate that soup or did those puzzles.  He lasted about a day, and as one of my sisters and I happened to notice a change in his breathing, we quickly called everyone to his bedside as he drew his last breath.  We then held hands, said a prayer and chanted for his soul to be free of any earthly attachments.  It was something I’ll never forget.  It felt peaceful and natural.  I am proud of the “sendoff” we had for him.

However, I think he still may be hanging around.  Shortly after he died, I started having an interesting experience.  As I am laying down getting ready to go to sleep at night, I have the sensation that my cat has jumped on the bed and is walking across it; however, when I put the light on to remove her, (I don’t let her sleep in the bedroom at night) she is not there.  I have even spoken out loud to her in the darkness, knowing that she has hidden under the bed waiting for the light to go out before she leaps out, –“Sita, how did you get in here?”  It absolutely feels like there is something “pouncing” on the bed and then “stepping” across it. This has happened repeatedly to me, only and just as I am snuggling in to sleep at night.  I had a strong feeling that it was “Dad” when it started happening and I feel no fear during these episodes.

Now, having shared this with my Mom and brothers and sisters, I have found that two others are having the same exact experience.

Hi Dad!

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53 Comments

  1. dearest gayle,
    as i have shared with you, i too have had these feelings and some more feelings since my mom departed. very strange indeed.

    i wonder what might be the explanation.
    lots of love.

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  2. Dearest Trisha,
    It is very strange, and interesting. I believe somehow our loved ones are trying to give us a message from beyond. I’ve read many stories of others who have had similar things happen to them and they felt it was their family member who had passed away.

    I have watched a TV show where a man who is psychic gives readings to people from their loved ones who have passed. He tells these strangers things about their loved one and family that he couldn’t possibly know. He brings a lot of comfort to people when he gives them messages from their person who has passed away.

    It’s fascinating to me.

    with love,
    Gayle

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  3. dearest gayle,
    yes i too think that our loved ones who have passed away sometimes try to get to us, even though i dont firmly believe in ghosts/spirits but i have had some unexplainable experiences myself like the one above.
    we cant know every thing.
    lots of love.

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  4. Dearest Trisha,
    There certainly are many experiences that happen to people that cannot be explained.

    And I agree, we don’t know everything…
    lots of love,
    Gayle

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  5. dearest gayle,
    yes, just like you i have some beliefs but i am always open to accept that they might have been wrong ghost/spirit is one of them.
    i will put up the story and tell you, any way, you will know it when you read it.
    lots of love.

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    • Dearest Trisha,
      I think I do believe in spirits. There’s just too much information out there that points to this being true. I can embrace this truth.
      I look forward to reading your story.
      with love,
      Gayle

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  6. dearest gayle,
    well, i am in the neutral field in this topic, though a little leaning toward “not believing”. I will believe when i see one in my full consciousness.
    i will be soon sharing it, within a few days, i am waiting for the urge to write it.
    lots of love.

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  7. Dearest Trisha,
    I don’t know how to explain some supernatural happenings without believing that there are beings in a spirit world that we cannot usually see. Sometimes these spirits show themselves to others. I too have never seen one with my own eyes–but would love to.

    I have never seen “Dad” when he shows up, but I can feel a physical presence making itself known to me. It’s very interesting. My mother and one of my brothers reported that the same thing was happening to them after he died. Although, for me, the “visits” have become less as time has gone by.

    with love,
    Gayle

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  8. dearest gayle,
    i have written my experience, will put it up, let me know what you think of it. i too had some bizarre experiences after my mom passed away. i may next share them.
    lots of love.

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  9. Dearest Trisha,
    Well, as you know, I have read your experience and think it is fascinating. Can’t explain it… I look forward to reading about your other experiences after your mother passed away. This is an interesting topic for me.
    with love,
    Gayle

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  10. dearest gayle,
    may be i will share them within this month. just give me some time to get the enthuciasm to write it. writing is completely mood dependent.

    this experience was really creepy. even now it gives me goosebumps to think about those nights.

    and you know my village ancestral home is in absolute ruins, i used to move around there in pitch darkness with torchlight or petrol lamps. i have always been scared but never saw a shadow of a ghost, or felt any thing eerie.

    lots of love.

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  11. Dearest Trisha,
    I will wait patiently until the mood strikes you to write your story.

    It sure was a creepy experience all right–gives me goosebumps too!

    What’s sad to me is that you felt such fear in your home. All those years living there and feeling such fright–that’s too bad.

    with love,
    Gayle

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  12. dearest gayle,
    before becoming impressed by human beings i was perpetually scared of ghosts. this experience was extraordinary but i dont remember a single night when i have not been scared of ghosts. so dont feel sad. 🙂

    even now i was a bit apprehensive to share it with you, fearing the lady in white will visit again. well, as i told you, the kids are here to keep company now. so…..

    lots of love.

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  13. Dearest Trisha,
    I believe that sometimes ghosts hang around one particular building. I think that woman in white was “attached” to your ancestral home and not necessarily to you and would not follow you from place to place. She has never shown up anywhere else has she? She never acted “menacing” towards you did she? She may have been trying to give you a message of some sort.

    Well it is sad that a child would be fearful of ghosts every single night of their life. Children should have a sense of safety–especially in their own home–at night, in their beds. As a parent, I would be concerned that my child was suffering from such fear.
    I’m glad you have the kitties for company now.
    with love,
    Gayle

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  14. dearest gayle,

    i too think so that she was attached to that one room. because after returning from rajasthan i used to sleep in ground floor of the same house, i never saw her anywhere else in that house.

    or may be my sister in law scared her out of the house 🙂 🙂 . She occupied the room after i left the house.

    lots of love

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  15. Dearest Trisha,
    Well, that explains it–your sister-in-law scared away the scary ghost! 🙂 hahaha
    with love,
    Gayle

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  16. you have seen the harry potter movies? there was a creature in one of the parts that howled shrilly when pulled out of the soil, well she somehow resembles that creature.

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  17. Gayle

     /  September 10, 2010

    Yes, I’ve seen those movies. Oh, my goodness–how horrible!

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  18. she howls like that for hours 🙂

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  19. That must have been “wonderful”! 🙂

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  20. thats a nightmarish experience for any one who has the power of hearing. those are the moments you will ponder if hearing impaired are really all unlucky 🙂

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  21. That’s insane! I would have wished to go deaf myself (at least temporarily)! 🙂

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  22. well the five years i spend with her and her chums made me wish for that again and again, almost every day. 🙂

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  23. You poor dear… 😦

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  24. i humbly accept your sympathy this time, i really deserve a lot of sympathy for that period of time 🙂 you know it, i mean it from the bottom of my heart.

    i have put up the second uncanny experience too.

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  25. I am glad you will accept my sympathy. I certainly know that you deserve so much sympathy for that period of time in your life–from the bottom of my heart too. (((Hugs and love for you)))!

    Oh, good, I’ll go read it!

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  26. i have wiped out that period from my life but the scars have stayed. time doesnot gives you back your old self, it just heals the wounds.

    how vicious women can be if they want.

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  27. I too have a few scars left over from some very nasty incidents. I haven’t fully put these experiences behind me. Just when I think I have, some residual of pain rears it’s ugly head in the form of anger or sadness. I try to just let it go again without it creating more suffering for me. It seems to be an ongoing process.

    There are some very black-hearted people in the world.

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  28. people who think that pain stays forever or completely goes away fool themselves. the truth is what you said. but with firmness we can shoo it away the moment it rears its head.

    there are five people in my life i can certify as devil’s shadow, three of them are my siblings and two of them are their spouses. i sincerely pray that such people dont take birth in earth in too many numbers.

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  29. Yes, I think residual pain can cling on for a lifetime. I wonder why my memory can be so acute for remembering these things that have brought me such pain…

    Well I will sincerely pray that exact same prayer! The world doesn’t need any more of those types…

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  30. same here. but now i usually keep them out of mind, yet they often come back with same intensity and i have to remind myself to not ruin my todays for things gone forever.

    may be a couple of years more and they will be gone forever 🙂 its hard to forget when people you really loved turned out to be monsters 🙂

    but its idiotic to keep tormenting oneself. one should just let it go. I have let it go almost completely, and am sure will get rid of it asap.

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  31. Yes, that’s the deepest sort of pain–brought on by supposed loved ones. It’s like a knife in the heart–or the back–however it shows up from one day to another.

    I’m sure you will be rid of it soon as you keep letting go of its power over you. Me too.

    I can’t help it–my heart goes out to you–you are the dearest…

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  32. if we become practical by realizing the truth that we are ruining our todays by thinking about yesterdays that can no longer harm us we start to throw away those poisonous thorns the moment they rear their head.

    we have to give some time to pain to heal and then take action that the wound gets healed.

    i believe my misfortune started when i became a part of that family,it ended in 2005. choice was not mine but i should feel lucky that i am living a life of peace and happiness. sometimes people born with silver spoon in their mouth cant attain peace and content in their life. sometimes people born in most affectionate famillies ruin it all so you and me we both can say we are luckier than them.

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  33. You are absolutely right. I think it’s all about living with a sense of gratitude too. The peace and happiness that you live now was perhaps gained only through the misfortune that you had to endure. Me too.

    We are luckier.

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  34. Yes, with every negative thing in my life i felt closer and closer contact with God, and now when my family is a past for me things are getting better every day.

    We both should be happy that we chose God not drug or alcohol.

    Or may be God chose us. I think thats the way it happens.

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  35. However it happened, I am very grateful. Given my upbringing and treatment, and yours too–we very easily could have turned to drugs or alcohol to ease our suffering.

    We have been truly blessed.

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  36. Thats why i say that God chooses the person to bless, we dont choose God, God chooses us.

    when i look back at my life I realize this truth clearly.

    thats why i have no complaint against God and blind faith on her. And will always have it.

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  37. How fortunate that God chose both of us, Trisha. Truly a wonderful blessing that we both were chosen and can share it with one another.

    Makes me happy…

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  38. I believe it was a strange coincidence that we met and stayed together. the latter part is rare. i felt deep bonding with a lot of people on intent but they just drifted apart with time.

    only you and soulbro stayed. just as i say again and again a relationship is easy to build, keeping it is the real and tough part.

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  39. Soulbro and I have stayed close friends too. It’s hard to explain–I guess it does take work and you need a firm foundation of interests sometimes to stick together.

    Anyway, I’m glad I found you again, after some time apart and we could resume our friendship.

    It’s meant a lot to me.

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  40. i adore friends who stay. accepting just the way i am and dont even talk about going away. like you and soulbro did. 🙂

    and quite a lot of our poetry group are doing. jingle, girlgeum and some of my friends there have stayed with me from the beginning.

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    • I’m so happy that you have formed some nice friends here too. I can see me doing the same as I get to know people a bit better.

      You, Soulbro and I have been very blessed to have such a steady friendship–it’s made me so happy. 🙂

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  41. people of this blog are extraordinary human beings. 🙂

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  42. good that jingle found me here. after losing intent i was missing you all very much. its true there is no other website (bloggers) like intent but these people are truly fabulous too.

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  43. I agree, Trisha, these people are fabulous. I have felt very welcomed here.

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  44. so did i. they are so wonderful and polite. they work as my inspiration, like you all did in intent.

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  45. We have been blessed again! 🙂

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  46. i know it. and i am truly grateful to jingle and rahim for it. 🙂

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  47. And I am grateful to YOU! 🙂

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  48. you are most welcome. 🙂

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  49. Tears! … not only because of the love and the way this is written, but because of the way your family handled your dad’s dying process and after. Simply dear and kind.

    Immediately after my mom’s death, I had no sense of her except that she was asleep or in shock. She died in fear. Her Catholic beliefs – or rather her interpretation of them – did not support a peaceful death. After about six months, I started to feel her presence. I had been continually doing healing work on her behalf. She seemed cheerful. I had recently and finally learned to drive and got a license. I was in my 40s. I was driving one day and had a very definate sense of her in the back seat and just tickled. I was the first female in our family – linearly – to learn get a license and a car. I kept feeling her presence for some time and took some comfort in it and also that of one of my uncles. Eventually, I though that maybe I was holding them back. I told them “All is well. You can get on with your own work.” And they were gone never to return and that’s okay.

    Again, loved this. Blessing to you and yours, Gayle. Hugs!

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  50. I’m so glad that you loved this story, Jamie. I love it too. It was as much a gift for me as it was for him. A wonderful experience–almost similar to birth of which I have witnessed a few. One soul going out–one soul coming in…

    What makes it even more extraordinary is that my father was not the most sensitive of people and was an alcoholic through all of our growing up years. It was pretty hellish living with him and he seemed to be oblivious of the hurt he caused to others. But miraculously, we six kids ended up being very spiritually aware human beings and chose to support our Dad in his last days. It’s hard to even share what we did for him at his death because most people don’t even understand what we were doing when we grabbed hands around his bed and started chanting. My brother led us in the chant as we sent his soul onward.

    But I’ve wondered why it didn’t work and he hung/hangs around like he did. His visits are less and his “pouncing” isn’t as pronounced now though. I’ve even talked to him out loud–like you did–and said, you can go on your way, it’s OK.

    I feel for your dear mother at her passing and it’s unfortunate she didn’t have the comfort through her faith (or the understanding) not to fear death–but it’s a common fear isn’t it. I’m glad she seemed cheerful when you perceived her presence and I’m sure she was tickled and proud to see you driving. And even taking “rides” with you in the back seat! What a wonderful gift for you. She very clearly let you know she was OK.

    Thanks for sharing your experience with me, Jamie–I really appreciate that. Blessings for you as well.
    Love,
    Gayle

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