CRACK and I’m hit,
without warning,
on the side of my head
and the barb
enters my deaf
ear. It ricochets
around deep
inside my head
and jiggles
the adrenaline
mechanism.
A surge hits
my heart and
it flips, twirls
and somersaults.
The mitral valve
spitting and
sputtering
…leaky.
My throat tightens
to keep my voice
silent…to hold
back the tears.
The heart
continues its
wild dance and I
wonder…is this
going to be
“THE ONE”…
Finally,
the rhythm unable
to right itself,
I’m taken out,
just like that.
Heart broken
Victoria C. Slotto is inspiring us today to write a descriptive poem that packs a wallop at dVerse Poets: http://dversepoets.com/2013/01/10/the-medium-is-the-message-dverse-meeting-the-bar/
brian miller
/ January 10, 2013ouch…a broken heart can be fatal…and refinding rhythm so hard in the after as well…very vivid picture of it for sure….nice intensity…
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013I think they can be…if not right away…then over time. Thanks, Brian.
Victoria C. Slotto
/ January 10, 2013At first I thought it was a bolt of lightning…but, yeah, I guess it was. And that’s a bit what that feeling is like, especially if unexpected, sudden. Thanks, Gayle….
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013Yeah, emotional pain can hit like a bolt of lightening…and with as much surprise! And thanks to you too, Victoria.
billgncs
/ January 10, 2013that packs a wallop!
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013That’s exactly what I was going for!
billgncs
/ January 11, 2013cool!
Sherry Marr
/ January 10, 2013This packs a wallop for sure. I hope this is not autobiographical. It certainly describes heartbreak – as well as a concussion!
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013I was looking to write a good wallop…so glad I accomplished that. Yes, it was autobiographical because I sure have had my share of heartbreak in my life. Who can’t relate to being blindsided with heartache. Right? Also, threw in there my problem with heart palpitations that plague me…sometimes I wonder…could this be IT.
Laurie Kolp
/ January 10, 2013WOW!
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013Thanks for the great wow, Laurie!
Laurie Kolp
/ January 12, 2013= )
SilverGardenia
/ January 10, 2013Powerful imagery.
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013Thanks, SG. Hey, I hope you see this because when I clicked on your link to read your offering…I couldn’t find anything…well, just the word “Refuge.” I tried a couple of times yesterday. I’ll try again today.
Kelvin S.M.
/ January 11, 2013..i have experienced the same.. all i thought i was alone in this…when i tried to go in her link too…couldn’t see anything but only the poem title aside from the blog title…ni contents showes up…did come back several times but same thing happened… :-(
Kelvin S.M.
/ January 11, 2013…oops..keyboard glitches… it should be *no contents showed up…
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013Thanks for leaving a message here, Kelvin…maybe SG will see this.
Heaven (@asweetlust)
/ January 10, 2013Creative approach to the familiar theme – broken hearted ~ The sounds of the wild dance makes it come alive for me ~
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013I was meaning this on an emotional level and physical as I suffer from a heart rhythm problem. Sometimes wonder if it won’t go back into rhythm…and there I’ll go. Thanks so much, Grace
Renee Espriu
/ January 10, 2013Sometimes feeling take awhile to sink in but ultimately not always a bad thing. Breathe and get through them. Wonderfully written piece filled with emotions.
Bodhirose
/ January 12, 2013I responded to you yesterday, Renee, but apparently it didn’t “stay.” I agree, sometimes the feelings (even though heartwrenching) can give us an opportunity to grow and bring about change. Breathing does help calm and soothe. Thanks for your insight.
becca givens
/ January 10, 2013OMG — indeed!! Very nicely done!!
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013Did you feel a ‘wallop’, Becca? Thank you!
Polly Robinson
/ January 11, 2013Powerful and compelling ~ nice write Gayle.
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013So nice of you to say so, Polly…thank you.
Ravenblack
/ January 11, 2013You’ve nailed it. That feeling of breaking, that sound, that zap-cold. Most uncomfortable!
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013So uncomfortable it becomes physically painful. Thank you, Ravenblack…for the very supportive response.
booguloo
/ January 11, 2013This was a flashback for me. Good stuff!
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013Michael…so glad to see you here! Thanks…well, I hope the flashback wasn’t too real feeling.
Sue Dreamwalker
/ January 11, 2013Yes Crack! just like that in a second…. it hits and can bring one to one’s knees, Excellent Gayle.. xox Sue
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013Yes, right to the knees. So glad you liked this, Sue. xoxo
Gretchen Leary
/ January 11, 2013Very intense. I like it!
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013So glad that you do, Gretchen…thank you!
Sheila
/ January 11, 2013this one had me on the edge of my seat – great images! They work well.
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013Thanks for the generous support, Sheila. Hope your baby girl is feeling much better today.
Sheila
/ January 12, 2013she is feeling better, thanks! Now, hopefully the rest of us stay well.
Bodhirose
/ January 12, 2013Happy to hear that.
kkkkaty
/ January 11, 2013…I felt that! Great write ;)
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013I appreciate that, Katy…thanks so much.
Kelvin S.M.
/ January 11, 2013…aww…i feel it the way you describe it…i must say, though not exactly, i’ve been there… ah, couldn’t remember how many times…at times i blame myself for wanting the wrong one…hihi… smiles…
Bodhirose
/ January 11, 2013Sometimes even our loved ones can kick us in the heart, Kelvin…it doesn’t necessarily mean you chose the wrong one. I’m glad you could relate to this…thanks. :)
kaykuala
/ January 12, 2013Gayle Ma’am,
It wears one out if it happens that suddenly. One or two may take it that hard and decide ‘no more loving antics for me’ As long as one is in control at the end that is important! Nicely!
Hank
Bodhirose
/ January 12, 2013That’s right…some would shy away after a couple of hard hits…can’t really blame them can you? It hurts! Yes, being in control at the end helps a great deal. Thanks for your thoughts, Hank.
Jamie Dedes
/ January 14, 2013This certainly did pack a wallop! Well done …
Bodhirose
/ January 17, 2013Oh good…that was the assignment after all.. :~)