On dVerse Poets we’re invited by Sam to write a form poem that does not appear to be a form. I tried my hand at an elegy.
http://dversepoets.com/2012/05/31/formforall-on-free-verse-picasso-and-yachting/#comments
Shocking grief you’ve made me lost
Alive yet dead, my heart is crushed
My eyes are lifeless..no longer see
Your visage departed, breaking parts of me
Distress down deep claws at my bones
Spring vining green turned withered stone
Interests declined as so did you
I languish forlorn in a world askew
You were my life, a radiant light
Held high aloft so my path wound bright
Wickedly clever, intelligent and quick
A candle burning with an endless wick
But your brilliant glow has been obscured
Consuming dissolution has me floored
Suffering madly, I feel only separation
Gone my lover, passion, adoration
May I forever remember your gentle excellence
That guided my nature, character and strength
Leaving me gifts that nourish my soul
Your undying goodness does offer console
Stone Flowers (Photo credit: elycefeliz)
henryclemmons
/ May 31, 2012Such a sad write. Very heartfelt. Excellente!
Bodhirose
/ June 1, 2012Thanks so much, Henry!
Heaven (@asweetlust)
/ May 31, 2012A crushed heart is like a withered stone ~ Very sad though thankful of the gifts received ~
And nice poetry form (I haven’t tried this yet) ~
http://a-sweetlust.blogspot.ca/2012/05/last-night.html
Bodhirose
/ June 1, 2012Yes, have to think of the time together that added to your life. Thanks, Grace…loved your tender posting today.
vivinfrance
/ June 1, 2012Essence of grief, perfectly expressed. As an elegy it works well, pouring the sadness right up to the final stanza, and then it seems as though the tide turned and comfort came from the dead lover.
Bodhirose
/ June 1, 2012Thank you, Viv. The elegy really is very free-form but it does have its requirements…wrapping up with being comforted is part of it.
brian miller
/ June 1, 2012ouch…hard emotions thorugh the first three quarters of this…i felt relief though as i came to the end…perhaps some letting go…which is so hard….well done ma’am….
Bodhirose
/ June 1, 2012Yes, elegies are emotional but do end on a high note of finding solace. Thanks, Brian.
charlesmashburn
/ June 1, 2012Sad, but an awesome write! The devotion then sense of loss is strong, and the poem flows wonderfully! Excellent!
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/dreams-like-that/
Bodhirose
/ June 1, 2012Thanks so much, Charles…loved your sad but awesome write today too!
David King
/ June 1, 2012This ticks all the important boxes for me. I really enjoyed this read.
Bodhirose
/ June 1, 2012Thank you, David…I appreciate that.
K. McGee
/ June 1, 2012I especially loved these lines:
“Distress down deep claws at my bones
Spring vining green turned withered stone”
Vivid image of how death and loss are overcome by life and hope.
Bodhirose
/ June 1, 2012Thank you, K…hopefully when faced with losing someone dear, we can continue on and be encouraged by the positive.
ladynyo
/ June 1, 2012Prompts be damned, Bodirose…
This was an excellent elegy…and they are damn hard enough to write.
Hauntingly beauitful.
Lady Nyo
Bodhirose
/ June 1, 2012That’s right, Lady Nyo…prompts be damned! Haha.. Glad you liked my free-form elegy which are always free-form…I think I may have cheated! Thanks for coming by.
becca givens
/ June 1, 2012Wonderful job, Gayle!!
I recently learned of a lost love, and this soothed my spirit!!!
Bodhirose
/ June 1, 2012Oh, thank you, Becca. So sorry to hear of your loss but am glad this poem could bring you some solace. Thank you for letting me know…makes me happy.
Semaphore / Samuel Peralta
/ June 2, 2012Your poem – an elegaic stream of consciousness – manages to convey a melancholy grief while providing the hope of consolation, a modernity of emotional expression while subscribing to a traditional lyricism. Well done.
Bodhirose
/ June 9, 2012Thank you, Sam…hopefully all who feel grief will one day be at peace with their memories.
Sue Dreamwalker
/ June 2, 2012Beautifully put together … ” You were my Life~ A Radiant Light ” brought me some tears tonight.. lovely Poem.. xx
Bodhirose
/ June 9, 2012Thanks so very much, Sue. I haven’t yet lost ‘a radiant light’ to death..can’t imagine the heartbreak…
dragonkatet
/ June 4, 2012Having lost several people close to me in life, I can say without a doubt that this is an excellent elegy. It is hard when the memories keep them alive for you, but you’re so right that it’s important to remember and cherish the good times so that you can move through the grief and heal…and live in the present. Lots of emotions in this. You know you have been successful in writing when you can stir emotions in your readers. :) Nice job!
Bodhirose
/ June 9, 2012Thank you, Corina. As I told Sue, I’ve yet to lose someone very close to me through death. I’m glad I was able to bring forth some emotion in my writing.
bardessdmdenton
/ June 7, 2012A myriad of emotions here, concluding in those healing memories of what was best. Very well done, Gayle.
Bodhirose
/ June 9, 2012We can only hope that we find resolution through peace when we are faced with loss. Thank you, Diane.