Goodbye Dad, Or Is It Hello?

My Dad died about five years ago.  Four out of my five siblings and I were in attendance as well as our mother and a few other family members.

He wanted to come home from the hospital more than anything to spend his last moments there but he was feeling some apprehension.  Finally, after my mother very bluntly told him, “Wade, you’re dying”, (yep, she actually said that to him!) he agreed to be unhooked from life support and come home one last time.  Even still, his controlling personality was in fine form as he ordered us to make sure there was some Campbell’s tomato soup for him when he got there and to go get some puzzle books at the neighborhood Walgreens drugstore.

Hospice was there for support if we needed them.

He never ate that soup or did those puzzles.  He lasted about a day, and as one of my sisters and I happened to notice a change in his breathing, we quickly called everyone to his bedside as he drew his last breath.  We then held hands, said a prayer and chanted for his soul to be free of any earthly attachments.  It was something I’ll never forget.  It felt peaceful and natural.  I am proud of the “sendoff” we had for him.

However, I think he still may be hanging around.  Shortly after he died, I started having an interesting experience.  As I am laying down getting ready to go to sleep at night, I have the sensation that my cat has jumped on the bed and is walking across it; however, when I put the light on to remove her, (I don’t let her sleep in the bedroom at night) she is not there.  I have even spoken out loud to her in the darkness, knowing that she has hidden under the bed waiting for the light to go out before she leaps out, –“Sita, how did you get in here?”  It absolutely feels like there is something “pouncing” on the bed and then “stepping” across it. This has happened repeatedly to me, only and just as I am snuggling in to sleep at night.  I had a strong feeling that it is “Dad” when it started happening and I feel no fear during these episodes.

Now, having shared this with my Mom and brothers and sisters, I have found that two others are having the same experience…

Hi Dad!

The Lovelorn Peacock

Peacock

Image by Henry McLin via Flickr

     In the summer of 1971, I moved from my hometown of Orlando down to Miami to help start an ashram there.  A friend and I were part of an organization that taught yoga, meditation, vegetarian diet and a lifestyle of disciplined, spiritual practice.  He had been dispatched from the main center in Orlando, some months prior, to start yoga classes down south and had showed up at my door one day to ask if I would move there and help him.  I thought to myself, sure, why not, it would be an adventure.

     He had rented a small house in Coconut Grove on shady, coconut tree-lined Kumquat Street and I took up residence in one of the tiny bedrooms when I arrived.  Right down the street was another communal compound of people making a home together in a large, two story house.

      It was a cool time to live in Miami.  There were neat little “head” shops, and many “hippie” type stores that sold candles, incense, clothing, books, etc. and some great health food stores and even restaurants that were completely vegetarian.  It was all new to me but I was in my element!

      Before long we had gatherings of like-minded people coming nightly for our yoga classes and life was humming along.

      Part of the charming quaintness of Coconut Grove was the community of peacocks that freely roamed the neighborhood streets.  You could hear their ear-piercing calls from blocks away but I never tired of spotting them walking down the road, perched in a tree, or up on someone’s roof.

      One male peacock in particular started frequenting the small, enclosed courtyard in front of our house.  Soon he started showing an unhealthy interest in me.  Whenever I would arrive or depart the house, and if he happened to be outside, he would approach me with his feathers spectacularly displayed and “shake” them at me.  This bird was courting me!  With his feathers held straight up, he was just about as tall as I was.  Whatever direction I took, he would get face-to-face with me and “shimmy”.  I became a bit intimidated by this…yikes!  He was extremely insistent, and I took to running past him to get in or out of the house.

      But after some time, I believe he finally realized that his love for me would remain unrequited and he moved on elsewhere to find a more suitable partner.

An awful buzz in the Everglades…

It was almost a year ago that Tom and I set out for the first “whole-week” vacation I had ever taken.

We were headed for the West Coast of Florida–beautiful Naples.  We had reservations at a lovely, single-story condo, with pool and Jacuzzi, not far from downtown and the beach.

We really didn’t have much of an agenda, just relaxing and seeing some sights.  My Dad had told us of a park in the Everglades to visit.  So we made a mental note to check it out.

In the meantime, we did manage to take a tour of the Thomas Edison-Henry Ford compounds and saw the amazing and immense “walking” Banyan tree that had spread across acres and acres of the property.  We walked the grounds that had plant species brought in from throughout the world.

One of the most awe-inspiring experiences I’ve ever had occurred one late afternoon as Tom and I walked along the beach.  As we looked along the shoreline–I am always looking for shells and other treasures–Tom, who had stepped out into the sparkling, clear water of the Gulf, suddenly pointed out a large, six-legged starfish, and then another and another!  There were thousands of starfish just a few feet from the edge of the beach.  We walked on and on, and there were more and more starfish.  We were stunned and thrilled to witness such an incredible scene.  And we saw Brown Pelicans perched by the dozens in the Pine trees that lined up along the dunes “yakking” loudly.

Another day on the beach, we came upon hundreds and hundreds of stingrays!  The tips of their small “wings” broke the water as they swam along.  We stopped and spoke to a local woman who said she has walked the beach for years and she had never seen anything like it.

Wow!  What a show!

But our singularly most memorable day was when we went to explore that park my Dad had mentioned.  I had never been to the Everglades.  I was excited at the prospect of what I might find.

So we took off and were soon nearing our destination.  We came upon some water that ran alongside the highway with a gravelly, rocky beach and even an inviting picnic table.  I suggested we pull over and walk down to the water.  Sure, it would be fun.

We got out of the car, and Tom picked his way carefully over the sharp, jutting rocks to the edge of the water; I was not far behind.

Suddenly, there was a loud, buzzing sound.  I looked around frantically and then began to slap myself.  MOSQUITOES!  They surrounded us with a vengeful lust for blood covering us with their massive numbers.  I’m sure they took delight in the two imbeciles who had walked straight into their personal dining hall!

We ran to the car for safe haven.  To our horror–and I mean horror–we found that the inside of the car was thick with zillions of tiny, blood-thirsty vampires!  We had left the windows open!  We had no choice and did the only thing we could.  We jumped in the car with all the windows rolled down, then took off, blasting down the highway as fast as we could to blow the mosquitoes out, the two of us slapping and wriggling as we went.

Poor Tom, with both hands on the wheel and eyes on the road, got bit the worst.  Finally, after the one hour ride back to our condo, the mosquitoes were almost gone.  To this day I cringe when I hear that telltale buzz.

I do look back on my vacation to Naples as magical, but, as I’ve told Tom, the only way I will ever return to the Everglades is the day it snows!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A bowl of shells and other sea life that I brought back from our trip.  I love to look at them and remember those days.

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